Posted in 2020, emotions, Love, My Journey, My Love Journey, poem, Poetic, Poetry, Relatonships

I need you

I need you

I need you for reasons you cant imagine
I need you on days I want to throw in the towel
I need you even when you give me hell
I need you
Baby
I need you as much as you need me.
Needing you has become part of me
Hearing your voice reminds me just how much i need you
Healing you
Is what you need
I need you
To be ready to love me
Without your past pulling you in
To be ready break down walls
Baby
I need you
Im needing You
More and more
While needing you
I’m hurting you and us
I need you
On days I’m fighting
To not express how I feel
On days saying enough can get me by
I need you
Understand
I’m struggling on you loving me
And me letting your love heal
What’s so damage
That I’m ashamed of my brokeness
I need you
2.8.9.20

~PJ~

A new poem dedicated to My Love Journey and emotions. Do enjoy an der me know what you think. God Bless

Posted in 2019, emotions, Health, Heart, Journey, My Journey, My Life, poem, Poetry

In A Crisis

My heart beating to so many emotions
I’m trying to figure if I should stay
Or go
I’m in crisis
My body betraying me
I’m losing the battle
Within myself
It out of control
I can’t come to terms with my emotions
I’m in crisis
And my frustration is at breaking point
I’m losing control
The old me returning
I’m struggling in crisis.
I’m in need of deliverance
I’m in crisis
Crying out
For help
I can’t take it any longer.
I’m in crisis
My head spinning
I’m losing control
Can you hear me?
Do you see me?
I’m losing control
My body betraying me
My emotions
Done destroyed me
I’m out of control
Yo
I’m in crisis
Can you help me?

11.8.19

~PJ~
This poem is dedicated to my life. Do enjoy and let me know what y’all think. God Bless

Posted in 2019, emotions, God, Love, Love Journey, My Journey, poem, Poetic, Poetry

Pulling Me Back

I don’t want to think of you
I’m trying to let go
You keep pulling me back
I don’t want to hurt anymore
I’m trying to see my future without you
You keep pulling me back
I’m sitting here
With regret and frustration.
But deep down I know it’s you I want.
You may not be what I need.
But that’s between me and God.
You came in my life
When I was ready for love
When I needed someone
I was so ready to give up
But the way you stepped to me
Stop me in my tracks.
But you turned out to be a tornado
Destroying everything
From my walls
That been up for the past few years
I’m losing the battle
And I can’t have that.
You keep pulling me back
I’m trying to fight my feelings
My heart
Isn’t having it.
My head is saying run
I’m stuck
In my feelings
I’m trying to come to terms
With my emotions and let’s just say
You making it easy to turn my back
And walk away.
But I know deep down
I can’t just walk away
Without expressing how you make
Me feel.

8.7.19

~PJ

I have been writing a lot lately and here is one of my pieces just finish last night. Do enjoy and let me know what you think. God Bless

Posted in 2019, Christian, Christianity, Jesus, Spiritual Word Of The Day, Word to the Wise (Spiritual Word Of The Day)

Word to the Wise (Spiritual Word Of Day)

Everything isn’t what it looks like. The enemy is distracting many by playing mind games and speaking lies to keep you distracted. The enemy is playing on emotions and wounded areas that are yet to be healed. Making you feel like folk are against you who really are not, making you feel rejected when you are not being rejected, telling you that you are alone and abandoned and help is all around you, telling you that there are more against you than that are for you. I come against all mind battles and mind games in the name of Jesus. I speak peace to the emotional instability that has been causing you stress in Jesus name!

Good Morning, God is truly good all the time. T.G.I.F. pray everyone is having a blessed day and message speaks to someone heart/soul. God Bless

Posted in 2018, Cancer, change, Christian, Faith, family, fight, God, Update

Update

Hey, and Welcome to my World. Where should I start, I have tried doing update post since October when I got sick and ended up in the hospital for over a week. I even tried before the holidays. Almost had another hospitalization but I push through it. Two years ago in 2016, we got news my dad has cancer. What a blow to us. Many things ran thru my mind. Was severe was I going to lose him. How will we handle this as a family? It was a rough year and we made it. Two different treatment, the first one wasn’t helping. The second one well I did for a while made it smaller but when he went to check up at hospital nothing has changed. He on blood thinners but since he seems to be losing more blood they change his doses. Hope it helps. His getting transfusion every other week for past few months. Y’all know I know about them when dealing with sickle cell. I’ll make a separate post on me later on. I have learned so much about this blow. No matter what get throws at you. You can make it with faith, prayer. Things get rough but never give in to devil evil tactics. Some days my dad reminds me of me when I have to push myself when I’m hurting. I see aggravation at times, motivation to get better and fight. The different things we go through when dealing with health issues. We not only got hit with cancer, we also got hit with him having heart problems. Not just one blow but two. God knows how slow you down at times. Going end it here and hopefully finish with rest of update. Pray all is well who reads this. God Bless

Posted in 2012, 2017, heart, Love, Love Journey, My Journey, My Love Journey, poem, Poetic, Poetry

Just Maybe…

just maybe

I’m missing you…

And wanting you back…

Just Maybe…

but I refuse to let you back in

Just Maybe…

Just Maybe…

Just Maybe…

I catch myself thinking of you

but I refuse to pick up the phone

and crawl back…

Maybe I’m Missing You….

Do that make me a fool?

Just Maybe…

Just Maybe…

Just Maybe…

I’m missing you…

But the lies you told…

was too many…

So many lies told…

So many tears shed…

Maybe…

Maybe…

Just Maybe…

I could be missing you…

Thinking of you…

hoping for  a different outcome

Lastnight..

My heart beating to you…

Just Maybe…

Just Maybe…

Just Maybe…

I’m Missing You…

10/14/12

~PJ~

Another poem from the past that I would like to add to my love Journey. Do enjoy and let me know what you think. God Bless:)

Posted in heart, Love Journey, My Life, My Love Journey, poem, Poetic, Poetry, Relatonships

I hate the way he makes me feel….

image

Never realize how much I could miss you…
You done frustrated me so many times..
Not even going lie…
You done broke my heart…
I love your voice….
Your amazing heart…
Your smooth chocolate skin…
Them lips…
OMG…
MY MY MY…
how the hell…
Did my feelings come back & stronger then ever?
Missing You…
Wanna You…
Needing You…
All the above…
Its scary how different we are…
I love watching you sleep…
You so damn sexy….
Never realize just how much I could miss you….
You know which buttons to push to get me riled up…
You done showed me there is good in you..
No matter how many times.
I tried to push ’em away.
12/5/8/15
~PJ~

I finally had the time to type poem up. With everything going on with me and dis person. Its dedicated to my love journey. Do enjoy and let me know what you think. I may Change the title eventually.  The title that really came to mind is the movie 10 things I hate about you. When she read her poem in class.

Posted in 2016, Decisions, heart, Love, My Love Journey Thought, Relatonships

My Love Journey Thought…

image

As of the other day, I had to deal with someone heartache and them doing what they thought might may make them feel better but blew up in they face. Love is a serious matter,  and when you not ready move on from your past. Don’t bring drama and destruction into another person who is willing and ready for love and relationship. If you believe you need to feel petty because they broke your heart, please don’t do it. I know better,so I always ask a person will it make you feel good or not?  Well let’s just say things wasn’t good.  No person  is every worth you thinking you should forget your worth or thinking to take your life.  Till the next post…

Posted in 2016, heart, Love, Love Journey, My Journey, My Life, My Love Journey, My Love Journey Thought, Relatonships

My Love Journey Thoughts…

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I recently have learned a life lesson on what my words could do to someone I truly love and want in my life for along time. On dis Love Journey it’s hard to acknowledge just what a person is feeling when it comes to you and your needs. I have been in love with a guy going on 12 years off and on. We finally got the chance to really get to know one another but I still keep my heart guarded because I feel he does the same. I’m a very sarcastic person, and I thought he could tell the difference. No matter how long you know a person,  you still have be careful how you word things. You can lose them or push them farther away and have to work getting them back to where you work so hard to let there guards down.

Posted in 2015, heart, Love Journey, My Journey, My Love Journey, poem, Poetic, Poetry

Regret

I regret that one last chance to go there with you..

that one last chance to put my feelings in the air..

I regret opening myself to a man who isn’t ready..

I fail to realize to not see I couldn’t control..

how my feelings would react when you walk back in..

How did I let my heart get chip…

dent…

I regret everything that has happen in the past week..

But then again I can’t say…

I really regretted it…

It was meant to happen, so I could open…

my eye’s to you..

I was hoping he would open

his eye’s to reality…

but as someone brought to my attetnion..

I fucked that up by been..

unexperience….

What do we do when regrets seem to take over..

But at the back on your mind..

You screaming…

but words seem to betray you ..

and your emotions is taking over..

Im stuck with regrets…

12/7/15

As I mention I have bn writing even though I may haven’t bn busy blogging and sharing. I have bn sharing my thoughts on paper. Right now I’m refusing to do just that, because I’m going thru so much as the poem says. I know things happen. Teach us a lesson. I hope and pray everyone have a bless Christmas and if you don’t celebrate Happy Holidays 2 you and yours. God Bless 🙂

 God is truly the reason for the season. I can’t sleep since I’m not feeling my best and my mind is doing 2 much thinking. I need to write and I don’t want 2. I usually let myself think for awhile before I temp to write. But I truly need to think as much as possible cause I refuse to write. No matter how much it may make me feel good or either break me .