Posted in 2019, chronic illness, fight, God, Health, My Life, Sickle Cell Anemia

Living With Sickle Cell Anemia

Welcome to My World. I made it a year without admissions. When you know your body, you know your limit. I tried so many times to push myself so I could make it to the little lady party the following day on 18. It was strange getting admitted when the dr. on the floor told me and not the E.R doctor or nurse. I wasn’t crazy about having to deal with E.R doctor, to be honest, we don’t have a good past. He did give me the wrong meds before. Thankful it wasn’t my time to leave here. After coming in and talking to me. Idk what kind of meds he was trying to give me. It’s something they give preg woman. Didn’t touch my pain but was trying to put me sleep. Different Things we go thru when dealing with people in the medical field makes you wonder how they got a degree. I didn’t have my usual nurses I usually deal with so having one got in E.R wasn’t umm pleasant. Getting on the floor was a different story. I was glad to be on first-floor just not crazy about the room I was in. I didn’t like how the doctor did my meds because the pain wasn’t been touch and had to practice my breathing to get thru the night and the next day till the doctor came to see me. When they see your counts still dropping they want to move and so right by you. Didn’t have the doctor I was used to having when all they have do is look at my file. Makes you wonder why they make stuff harder? My counts were 7.4 when I arrive, retic was 9 and hematocrit was low as 20.3 and the next day it was even lower in 17 and I was 6 in my counts. So who was looking at blood transfusion that they haven’t had in over a year or more? Believe or more. I got cross and type but had to wait till my blood was found since I have antibodies. Took it a few days which was a surprise. What was a bigger surprise I was itching the whole time during the first unit? We had space the other unit out. The same thing happens to that and they stopped it. I never had that happen before. So they wanted to clean up the mistake and I’m still waiting to hear what happen. I have 3 doctor appointments coming up. So I’ll find out if anything happens are not. If you wondering if I got medicine to prevent itching and answer is yes. Always have to get it, so I won’t have a reaction. Just this time around it didn’t work. I even got steroid meds for the second unit and still the same reaction. I wasn’t crazy about steroids but hey whatever helps. One does of steroids can’t make me gain weight. Lol. The one unit brought my count up to 7.3 and it drops till 7 the next day. I didn’t want to be there for my birthday, so was glad to get a discharge. I hate that haven’t been as active in the blogging world but still taking it easy. I did t know my counts was that low when I went in. You think it’s a small thing and it can be a major thing. Does make me slow it down some and take care of myself. It’s hard to do that and grieve at the same time. It’s hard to deal with sickle cell and remember not to get to happy are excited or whatever. It’s possible it can kick a crisis in. So thankful for all the kind comments and prayers. God sends the right people in your life. You never know who you need and why, but it’s truly a blessing to have. Pray all is well with each and every one of you all. I plan on doing a post with doctor visits. I know one doctor I’m meeting for the first time. Hope it goes well. Hate new doctors and starting over. Sighs. Do anyone else feel that way? Ok, maybe not hate it dislike. Who knows I may just hate change. Lol until next time stay bless.

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Posted in 2019, dreams, Encouragement, fight, knowledge, Wisdom, word of encouragement

Word Of Encouragement

May the measuring hours, minutes & seconds of this day bring you directly into the circumference of divine destiny. May angels on assignment execute a hostile take over and retrieve ALL that belongs to you and return it expeditiously into your possession! I speak to the dead dreams that you gave up on and I call them to be exhumed, extricated & extracted from the place of “throwing in the towel.”

~ This is, Due Season!
⚖️

Good Afternoon, I pray all is well with each and every one of you all. And message speaks to someone heart/soul. God Bless

Posted in 2019, fight, Focus, Love, Love Journey, poem, Poetry, Relatonships, survivor

I’m Back

You took a lot from me
Look where I’m at.
I had to fight to get here.
I had to overcome my
Demons.
I didn’t realize how broke
I was.
I was living but not really
Living.
I was dead inside
Trying to come back
You never realize the
Damage.
Till it done.
All my warnings
Went out window.
I thought I was in love
But you just wanted another
Notch under your belt.
You may have broken me
I’m a survivor.
Overcame my demons
And won
I’m back and better than ever.

5.8.19

~PJ~

No matter who you are, we can get taken and played. It’s how you return to the top that define you. Don’t let your mistakes stop you. Dedicated to love journey. Do Enjoy! God Bless

Posted in 2019, fight, Heart, poem, Poetry, Strength, strong

Staying Away

I’m staying away.
I refuse to hear any bad news
My heart
Can’t seem to grip reality
I know I need to be strong
But my body won’t let me
I gotta stay away.
My heart can’t take bad news.
I’m believing you
Going to make it
Your strong woman.
You won’t give up.
I can’t see you in that bed.
So many times i
Wanted to pick up the phone
And hear your voice.
Always had some kind
Of excuse not call.
I wish I had called more.
Came around more.
I just know
You coming home soon
I’m sorry.
I didn’t do right by you.

5.7.19

~PJ~

I wrote this a few hours before got the news she passed away. Still, so hard believe she truly gone. God Bless

Posted in 2019, fight, God, Love, poem, Poetry, prayer, Strength

Fighting to Live

You fighting to live
Only God got last say so.
The doctor didn’t think
You’ll ever open your eyes.
My God
Is amazing
No love
Greater then his
You a winner
Don’t stop fighting.
Prayer warriors.
Stand around and behind you.
You may have got hit with a stroke
And blood on the brain
My God
My God
My God
Is a healer.
Yes, he is.
He was in the room watching over you.
Through surgery
Nobody but God.
You a fighter
In a fight, of your life.
Just keep fighting
And beating odds.

5.5.19

~PJ~
I haven’t been all here to blog. A week ago wrote a poem called Dear God, this is the continuing piece, update whatever you want to call it. Do enjoy. God Bless

Posted in 2019, chronic illness, fight, Health, My Journey, My Life, poem, Poetry, Sickle Cell Anemia

Join My Fight

Trying to make you mine
Want you on my team
I need justices
Are you going to help me
I’m trying to live my life
But nobody seems to want
Help me
We need justices
The systems not for us
All I’m doing is, trying to live my life
So my question
Are you going to help me
Too many dying at home
Cause we not been treated right
When we come in
I need you on my team
I want to live.
You my choice
Please don’t let me down
I want to live
I heard you the one
That fight for us
I want to live
Can you be on my team

4.19.19

~PJ~
Day 22. It’s been a while since I did update on some of the stuff we, meaning other sickle cell patients go thru. It breaks my heart, read some of the treatment others get. Since changing my diet, my treatment has changed. It has got better, but at times I worry if I get the proper care I need when I go into E.R. anywho another story for a separate post. Just in case you wondering this poem goes with my life.

Posted in 2014, AWARENESS, chronic illness, fight, Health, My Journey, My Life, poem, Poetry, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness

My Life

How can I speak…

when I’m only one

person…

You seem to look…

at me crazy…

Cause of the pain.

and you don’t understand…

Yes,

I’m one in a million…

So many of us or losing.

the fight…

So thankful for the one.

who fought with me.

You may not hear me…

But I know many hear me.

and join me to fight for ours.

rights.

Do you hear me?

I hate to yell but hell.

my pain is that intense…

NO act.

over here.

We want Justices…

done…

We are tired of been

mistreated.

some die in pain…

because of the abuse from

the ones…

who supposed to help us.

Do that make you all happy?

see so many dying?

~PJ~

Technical I’m not finished with it but wanted to get it up, while I have the time and strength to share. I wanted to share it last month since it was Sickle Cell Awareness Month. But you all know its every day for me… Do enjoy and let me know what you think. The poem says a lot, so many sickle cell warriors have died this year. We don’t have it easy when we go to E.R/hospital. Since so many don’t know what it is or what we go through. We get sent home in pain or mistreated while been in hospital. I know you all have read a few of my post, and know I had could not so good nurses and doctors. I’m praying for a cure for us.

Day 19. Something I wanted to repost again. I can’t believe I didn’t add a date it was written. Do enjoy and God Bless

Posted in 2012, fight, God, poem, Poetry, Pray

Take a hold of my hand

Take hold of my hand

Don’t you dare let go

I have a message

for you to receive

I know you struggling

and you on the verge

of giving up

I’m here to let you know!

Take hold of my hand

and follow me

I know you think you

alone

I want you to know

You never alone

GOD is here

yes, he never left you

even when you turn

your back on him

Killed your body

with drugs & alcohol

No, No,No

Don’t let go just yet

Follow me & listen

so many times you had to

go hungry because

you didn’t want to live

right

you had to sit in the cold

because of your pride

Don’t you dare let go

of my hand

I’m not finish

Take heed to what

I’m saying

You fighting the wrong

person

You running the wrong way

GOD is everywhere

Don’t you ever think he

forgot you when you

think you alone

He loves you

Today choose him to

serve

Tomorrow not promise

Now let go of my hand

& pray

1/31/12

PoeticJourney

Actually true story in this poem here, I’m not happy with it because I feel like I’m missing something. But if you struggling and feel like you alone. Just remember you not. Do enjoy and God Bless 🙂

Its a repost but one of my favorites and mean a lot to me and wanted to share once again. Do enjoy pray speaks to someone heart/soul. God Bless:)