Posted in 2011, 2018, AWARENESS, fight, God, Health, My Journey, My Life, poem, Poetic, Poetry, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness

Scar

My scars
Tell a story
Some may think
Im addict
Im not Feenin
For drugs
Im Feenin
For nomore pain
My scars
Tells a story
Of me fighting
Sickle Cell Disease
My life
Is not yours
God gave me
This life
To share it and hopefully
Educate the World
On my illness
My scars
Tells a story

12/13/11

PoeticJourney

 

I have shared this poem before and wanted to share it once again. This month is sickle cell awareness month.  With so many of us dying each and every day. I had to the need to share it one more.

 

Posted in 2018, Blessed, Blogging Anniversary, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia

7 years

Wow, I been here for seven long years a few breaks here and there. I started my blog when I was in college and wasn’t sure what put on my blog. With help of a lovely male nurse. He gave me the idea to spread awareness about my illness. I thought about blogging about my degree and what made me go that route. After going in and out of the hospital in my early 20’s I knew the world needed to hear my story. I never thought people would actually be moved by my story dealing with sickle cell. Hell, I didn’t think anyone would care to be honest. So many times we tend to keep our demons to ourselves because we scared what others may think because they don’t understand the struggle. I see i have made the right place by making WordPress my home to share my story and so forth. So thank you to each and everyone of you for making me feel welcome and joining my journey. Many Blessings. 🙂

Posted in 2017, AWARENESS, fight, God, Health, Mini Update, My Journey, My Life, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness

Day 1, Living With Sickle Cell

Good Evening, I decided to make E.R visited yesterday since the pain wasn’t letting up. My mom actually pushes me to go, so they could give me some fluids and oxygen. Let me tell you I was thankful the doctor I like was working. He actually knows a lot about my illness so that’s a plus. My counts weren’t too bad was in middle 8’s, with an 11 for the retic, which let me know why I was hurting the way I was. With two doses of meds, my pain wasn’t moving. I didn’t catch it in time and that’s nobody fault but mine. I have been resting every since I got on the floor, let me just say probably slept 5 or 10 mins be honest. I can’t rest like I want when I’m hurting. I have been having chest pains on and off over the past week. So he made sure to do an x-ray to make sure I didn’t have an acute chest. I’m hoping and praying these a short stay. I have a nice doctor, she had to change my orders how often I get meds before seen me. That meant so much to me. She took the time out to read my orders and what was done last time I was admitted. I got some good nurses as well. Loving with these disease has taught me a lot. Taught me how to pick up on signs and what not to do when it’s already too late. I was getting upset with myself yesterday cause nothing was touching the pain. I thought I was doing everything right, but it doesn’t matter if you do what need be done. It comes with vengeance over of body. Sorry cut these short, but I’m getting tired hopefully I can get some rest. Truly means a lot if Y’all can keep me in your prayers and thoughts. Until next time, pray every one of you all is well. God Bless

Posted in 2016, Health, My Journey, My Life, Sickle Cell Anemia, Update

Update

Good Evening,

 

wp-1458744164813.jpgI pray all is well with each and every one of you. I hope y’all having a good Holiday. I know I been away a lot. Every time I think I’ll return, something comes up with my health. I have bn having crisis in my hands for a month now. I’m right-handed and that’s the hand that been giving me trouble lately. I did have a good Thanksgiving. I know awhile back I had mention a death in the family and soon after we lost someone else. Its heartbreaking when you lose you child by another person hands. I wont go into detail about it.  Ended October I was admitted, I was really sick. COunts had dropped tremendously . I haven’t bn that bad in over a year. I couldn’t walk and lets just say not talk either. I did a lot of crying and screaming. I was in hospital for over a week and few days. I can’t tell you when the last time my sickle-cell had me down that long. Im pretty sure if I read thru my blog It would let me know.  I had to have two units of blood, I was running fevers but no infection so they say. Im just so thankful I got the blood. It had bn awhile since I had blood. Im thankful for that. God is truly good all the time.  Im hoping to be back soon if not before year out. Making 2017 my year . I miss blogging and writing as well.  Thank God for voice..   I hope to fill y’all in with more update soon. Right now Im in process of looking for new place.  So we all know how that can be. I hope to catch up on blogs . I have read each and everyone of your comments, just haven’t had the time to accept and comment back.  I love the holiday to be able to spend with my family. Thanksgiving and Christmas. Christmas I love the movie I get to see since end of October.  I spent the whole week of thanksgiving with my love. She is growing up so fast. where does the time goes. Im hoping to return to my love journey post very soon. I so miss them but have bn saving my thoughts to share with you all. Im hoping be able to try to get something publish in the new year, only God knows.  Until next time I pray all is well with each and everyone of you all.  Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Please do be safe and remember to let your love one know you love them every chance you get. Never know when its your last time on Earth. I don’t know it seem like every time someone look around someone losing someone. So I had mention it. God Bless

Posted in 2015, AWARENESS, Bless, God, Journey, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness, Uncategorized, Update

Update

Good Morning,

 

Will be short post, since its Christmas. I posted the last update late. I don’t know what happen. I guess it had bn awhile since I posted that I forgot to take it off draft and hit publish.. lol.  I had some what okay doctor appointment. I got put on more meds. So not happy about that. I got back in Feb, before I leave in March so that’s good. They up my dose on one of my meds. I already know how dis going to go. Lets just say I’m not happy:( . I bn dealing with headaches for like 3 days, not so bad today. I’m listening to music as I type up my post. So that’s helping. I’m loving the weather we having here in the South. Not cold whatsoever. I hope everyone having a lovely Christmas. I don’t believe I ever had a warm Christmas, but I’m so not complaining. Even with the rain. I’m not crazy about the rain because it makes my body aches and can interfere with my illness, but I do love rain. SO love and hate relationship. We trying to see about not depending on pain meds, I like the way that sound. Because I’m bad about going cold turkey a lot, but that could be reason why I be in and out hospital because I do that a lot. Sometime you just want to enjoy life and not be drug up. Just my opinion .  Sorry it took so long to do my updates, with everything going on, with health and holidays. I probably wont post anymore 2 New Year. So I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New years one more time. God bless :). If I forgot anything in the update, will edit later on. I need some sleep. Music do put my mind at ease.  Thank You all for sticking with me on dis bumping ride I call life.

Posted in 2015, heart, Love Journey, My Journey, My Love Journey, poem, Poetic, Poetry

Regret

I regret that one last chance to go there with you..

that one last chance to put my feelings in the air..

I regret opening myself to a man who isn’t ready..

I fail to realize to not see I couldn’t control..

how my feelings would react when you walk back in..

How did I let my heart get chip…

dent…

I regret everything that has happen in the past week..

But then again I can’t say…

I really regretted it…

It was meant to happen, so I could open…

my eye’s to you..

I was hoping he would open

his eye’s to reality…

but as someone brought to my attetnion..

I fucked that up by been..

unexperience….

What do we do when regrets seem to take over..

But at the back on your mind..

You screaming…

but words seem to betray you ..

and your emotions is taking over..

Im stuck with regrets…

12/7/15

As I mention I have bn writing even though I may haven’t bn busy blogging and sharing. I have bn sharing my thoughts on paper. Right now I’m refusing to do just that, because I’m going thru so much as the poem says. I know things happen. Teach us a lesson. I hope and pray everyone have a bless Christmas and if you don’t celebrate Happy Holidays 2 you and yours. God Bless 🙂

 God is truly the reason for the season. I can’t sleep since I’m not feeling my best and my mind is doing 2 much thinking. I need to write and I don’t want 2. I usually let myself think for awhile before I temp to write. But I truly need to think as much as possible cause I refuse to write. No matter how much it may make me feel good or either break me .

 

Posted in 2015, AWARENESS, fight, Health, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness, Thoughts!!!!

Living With Sickle Cell…

image

Am I really living? Came to conclusion Im not. I have stop doing the things I love. I have stop moving to my frustration to be better. I realize its time get out my comfort zone! Enough is enough. If we dont live now , we wont
be able live later 

Just wanted share some thoughts that bn on my mind lately. Stop letting stuff hold you down. Release anchor from your life and live.

Dis my month shine: Sickle CELL AWARENESS MONTH.  . I have bn in out hospital for about a month.. .Till next time do stay bless;)

Posted in Bless, family, God, heart, Journey, Love, Love Journey, My Journey, My Love Journey, poem, Poetic, Poetry

Left a mark……

My heart beating to so many beats.. 
You got me confused  & I
Cant take it…
I’m grown now..  so the
Past will never repeat…
Ill always have feelings for you..
But you seem be the same
From my past…

We not young anymore..
So if you trying to play
Me..
Please walk away now
And let me be..
I never thought I catch
Feelings for you. 
Never imagine I’ll keep
Thinking of you..

I felt so hurt when I heard
You had a little one…
Thats when I knew I didnt
Mean anything to you  
Its cool. 
I’m over it..
Some days it still hurt,
But not as much as before..
Now you have another blessing..
I always knew you be a
Perfect father.. 
I saw so much in you..
Years ago…

You seem to take my breath a way…
Your smile is so amazing…
Your heart..
One of a kind, but already
Full with your family. 
Boy you got a piece of me. 
I hate it cause every time you
Walk in….
I knew my heart will be broken..
Why can’t you see. 
I’m one of a kind?
O well..
In due time..
Ill stop caring for you. 

Thank God…
For blessing me….
See the real you..
Thank God…
I have strength to walk away…
Before you do me harm   

9/10/15

PJ
I have started writing again. Actually wrote it while in hospital..I usually like to think and let stuff sit on my mind and heart for awhile.  Dedicated to my love journey  do enjoy.. let me know what you think.. God Bless:)

Will change title, still thinking on it:)

Posted in God, Health, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness, Update

Update

I know it’s been awhile since I post. I bn going thru it dis summer.. some times I feel like I should give up, but my sense come back and reminds me. I’m here for a reason. God has last so even when we begging to be taking away. I got out Sunday and I’m pain again . I feel like my cold dawn got worse. Voice almost gone. I know when I left counts wasn’t the best, but I was ready.. if I known I wasn’t ready probably stay little longer.  Almost sickle cell awareness month, we have the bold lips for awareness.. wear your boldest lipstick and take pic and use hash tags. A few weeks when i got out,  had get my scripts . The woman behind counter ask me what sickle cell is, hate say I don’t like talking about it. I got get out of that mind frame n spread word. We lost another warrior a few nights ago. One day it’s going be me. I want to touch so many lives and do so much before I leave. I ask myself am I really living, part of me says I’m not. I’m hurting myself. I bn battling with my faith, illness.. I know God got me, no matter what. It just get so tiring when all u go thru is repeating itself.. hope that make sense, half asleep.. I pray all is well with each and everyone. God bless

Thank for riding with me…

Posted in AWARENESS, Death, fight, Health, hear me, My Life, poem, Poetry, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness, Thankful

My Life

How can I speak…

when I’m only one

person…

You seem to look…

at me crazy…

Cause of the pain..

and you don’t understand…

Yes,

I’m one in a million…

So many of us or losing..

the fight…

So thankful for the one..

who fought with me..

You may not hear me…

But I know many hear me..

and join me to fight for our..

rights..

Do you hear me?

I hate to yell but hell..

my pain is that intense…

NO act..

over here..

We want Justices…

done…

We tired of been

mistreated..

some die in pain…

because of the abuse from

the one’s…

who supposed to help us..

Do that make you all happy?

see so many dying?

Technical I’m not finish with it but wanted to get it up, while I have the time and strength to share. I wanted to share it last month, since it was Sickle Cell Awareness Month. But you all know its every day for me… Do enjoy and let me know what you think.  The poem says a lot, so many sickle cell warriors have died this year. We don’t have it easy when we go to E.R/hospital. Since so many don’t know what it is or what we go through. We get sent home in pain or mistreated while been in hospital. I know you all have read a few of my post, and know I had could not so good nurses and doctors. I’m praying for cure for us.