Posted in 2016, Health, My Journey, My Life, Sickle Cell Anemia, Update

Update

Good Evening,

 

wp-1458744164813.jpgI pray all is well with each and every one of you. I hope y’all having a good Holiday. I know I been away a lot. Every time I think I’ll return, something comes up with my health. I have bn having crisis in my hands for a month now. I’m right-handed and that’s the hand that been giving me trouble lately. I did have a good Thanksgiving. I know awhile back I had mention a death in the family and soon after we lost someone else. Its heartbreaking when you lose you child by another person hands. I wont go into detail about it.  Ended October I was admitted, I was really sick. COunts had dropped tremendously . I haven’t bn that bad in over a year. I couldn’t walk and lets just say not talk either. I did a lot of crying and screaming. I was in hospital for over a week and few days. I can’t tell you when the last time my sickle-cell had me down that long. Im pretty sure if I read thru my blog It would let me know.  I had to have two units of blood, I was running fevers but no infection so they say. Im just so thankful I got the blood. It had bn awhile since I had blood. Im thankful for that. God is truly good all the time.  Im hoping to be back soon if not before year out. Making 2017 my year . I miss blogging and writing as well.  Thank God for voice..   I hope to fill y’all in with more update soon. Right now Im in process of looking for new place.  So we all know how that can be. I hope to catch up on blogs . I have read each and everyone of your comments, just haven’t had the time to accept and comment back.  I love the holiday to be able to spend with my family. Thanksgiving and Christmas. Christmas I love the movie I get to see since end of October.  I spent the whole week of thanksgiving with my love. She is growing up so fast. where does the time goes. Im hoping to return to my love journey post very soon. I so miss them but have bn saving my thoughts to share with you all. Im hoping be able to try to get something publish in the new year, only God knows.  Until next time I pray all is well with each and everyone of you all.  Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Please do be safe and remember to let your love one know you love them every chance you get. Never know when its your last time on Earth. I don’t know it seem like every time someone look around someone losing someone. So I had mention it. God Bless

Posted in 2015, AWARENESS, Bless, God, Journey, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness, Uncategorized, Update

Update

Good Morning,

 

Will be short post, since its Christmas. I posted the last update late. I don’t know what happen. I guess it had bn awhile since I posted that I forgot to take it off draft and hit publish.. lol.  I had some what okay doctor appointment. I got put on more meds. So not happy about that. I got back in Feb, before I leave in March so that’s good. They up my dose on one of my meds. I already know how dis going to go. Lets just say I’m not happy:( . I bn dealing with headaches for like 3 days, not so bad today. I’m listening to music as I type up my post. So that’s helping. I’m loving the weather we having here in the South. Not cold whatsoever. I hope everyone having a lovely Christmas. I don’t believe I ever had a warm Christmas, but I’m so not complaining. Even with the rain. I’m not crazy about the rain because it makes my body aches and can interfere with my illness, but I do love rain. SO love and hate relationship. We trying to see about not depending on pain meds, I like the way that sound. Because I’m bad about going cold turkey a lot, but that could be reason why I be in and out hospital because I do that a lot. Sometime you just want to enjoy life and not be drug up. Just my opinion .  Sorry it took so long to do my updates, with everything going on, with health and holidays. I probably wont post anymore 2 New Year. So I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New years one more time. God bless :). If I forgot anything in the update, will edit later on. I need some sleep. Music do put my mind at ease.  Thank You all for sticking with me on dis bumping ride I call life.

Posted in 2015, heart, Love Journey, My Journey, My Love Journey, poem, Poetic, Poetry

Regret

I regret that one last chance to go there with you..

that one last chance to put my feelings in the air..

I regret opening myself to a man who isn’t ready..

I fail to realize to not see I couldn’t control..

how my feelings would react when you walk back in..

How did I let my heart get chip…

dent…

I regret everything that has happen in the past week..

But then again I can’t say…

I really regretted it…

It was meant to happen, so I could open…

my eye’s to you..

I was hoping he would open

his eye’s to reality…

but as someone brought to my attetnion..

I fucked that up by been..

unexperience….

What do we do when regrets seem to take over..

But at the back on your mind..

You screaming…

but words seem to betray you ..

and your emotions is taking over..

Im stuck with regrets…

12/7/15

As I mention I have bn writing even though I may haven’t bn busy blogging and sharing. I have bn sharing my thoughts on paper. Right now I’m refusing to do just that, because I’m going thru so much as the poem says. I know things happen. Teach us a lesson. I hope and pray everyone have a bless Christmas and if you don’t celebrate Happy Holidays 2 you and yours. God Bless 🙂

 God is truly the reason for the season. I can’t sleep since I’m not feeling my best and my mind is doing 2 much thinking. I need to write and I don’t want 2. I usually let myself think for awhile before I temp to write. But I truly need to think as much as possible cause I refuse to write. No matter how much it may make me feel good or either break me .

 

Posted in 2015, AWARENESS, fight, Health, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness, Thoughts!!!!

Living With Sickle Cell…

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Am I really living? Came to conclusion Im not. I have stop doing the things I love. I have stop moving to my frustration to be better. I realize its time get out my comfort zone! Enough is enough. If we dont live now , we wont
be able live later 

Just wanted share some thoughts that bn on my mind lately. Stop letting stuff hold you down. Release anchor from your life and live.

Dis my month shine: Sickle CELL AWARENESS MONTH.  . I have bn in out hospital for about a month.. .Till next time do stay bless;)

Posted in Bless, family, God, heart, Journey, Love, Love Journey, My Journey, My Love Journey, poem, Poetic, Poetry

Left a mark……

My heart beating to so many beats.. 
You got me confused  & I
Cant take it…
I’m grown now..  so the
Past will never repeat…
Ill always have feelings for you..
But you seem be the same
From my past…

We not young anymore..
So if you trying to play
Me..
Please walk away now
And let me be..
I never thought I catch
Feelings for you. 
Never imagine I’ll keep
Thinking of you..

I felt so hurt when I heard
You had a little one…
Thats when I knew I didnt
Mean anything to you  
Its cool. 
I’m over it..
Some days it still hurt,
But not as much as before..
Now you have another blessing..
I always knew you be a
Perfect father.. 
I saw so much in you..
Years ago…

You seem to take my breath a way…
Your smile is so amazing…
Your heart..
One of a kind, but already
Full with your family. 
Boy you got a piece of me. 
I hate it cause every time you
Walk in….
I knew my heart will be broken..
Why can’t you see. 
I’m one of a kind?
O well..
In due time..
Ill stop caring for you. 

Thank God…
For blessing me….
See the real you..
Thank God…
I have strength to walk away…
Before you do me harm   

9/10/15

PJ
I have started writing again. Actually wrote it while in hospital..I usually like to think and let stuff sit on my mind and heart for awhile.  Dedicated to my love journey  do enjoy.. let me know what you think.. God Bless:)

Will change title, still thinking on it:)

Posted in God, Health, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness, Update

Update

I know it’s been awhile since I post. I bn going thru it dis summer.. some times I feel like I should give up, but my sense come back and reminds me. I’m here for a reason. God has last so even when we begging to be taking away. I got out Sunday and I’m pain again . I feel like my cold dawn got worse. Voice almost gone. I know when I left counts wasn’t the best, but I was ready.. if I known I wasn’t ready probably stay little longer.  Almost sickle cell awareness month, we have the bold lips for awareness.. wear your boldest lipstick and take pic and use hash tags. A few weeks when i got out,  had get my scripts . The woman behind counter ask me what sickle cell is, hate say I don’t like talking about it. I got get out of that mind frame n spread word. We lost another warrior a few nights ago. One day it’s going be me. I want to touch so many lives and do so much before I leave. I ask myself am I really living, part of me says I’m not. I’m hurting myself. I bn battling with my faith, illness.. I know God got me, no matter what. It just get so tiring when all u go thru is repeating itself.. hope that make sense, half asleep.. I pray all is well with each and everyone. God bless

Thank for riding with me…

Posted in AWARENESS, Death, fight, Health, hear me, My Life, poem, Poetry, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness, Thankful

My Life

How can I speak…

when I’m only one

person…

You seem to look…

at me crazy…

Cause of the pain..

and you don’t understand…

Yes,

I’m one in a million…

So many of us or losing..

the fight…

So thankful for the one..

who fought with me..

You may not hear me…

But I know many hear me..

and join me to fight for our..

rights..

Do you hear me?

I hate to yell but hell..

my pain is that intense…

NO act..

over here..

We want Justices…

done…

We tired of been

mistreated..

some die in pain…

because of the abuse from

the one’s…

who supposed to help us..

Do that make you all happy?

see so many dying?

Technical I’m not finish with it but wanted to get it up, while I have the time and strength to share. I wanted to share it last month, since it was Sickle Cell Awareness Month. But you all know its every day for me… Do enjoy and let me know what you think.  The poem says a lot, so many sickle cell warriors have died this year. We don’t have it easy when we go to E.R/hospital. Since so many don’t know what it is or what we go through. We get sent home in pain or mistreated while been in hospital. I know you all have read a few of my post, and know I had could not so good nurses and doctors. I’m praying for cure for us.

Posted in 2014, AWARENESS, Health, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia

Living With Sickle Cell Anemia

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I have some good news to share, where should I start. Yesterday I got okay come home or stay another night cause of xray of my arm. Must say blood test came back false, no steroids.  I’m so excited! God is truly good:) maybe later on u have to have another xray to make sure I don’t need surgery. I must admit hip surgery is more for me then shoulder!  It won’t be long post. I did enjoy seen my lil lady,  not happy on
cold weather.  I’m praying I don’t have set back. Hope all is well with each and everyone of you all 🙂

Posted in 2014, AWARENESS, Health, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia

Day 4-6, Living With Sickle Cell Anemia

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Hey and welcome to my world. I must say I’m not home yet, which I had got my hopes up on going home. I’m praying for tomorrow.  Still in some  pain, but not as bad as when I got admitted. So thankful for all the comments and prayers, truly touch my heart:) blood count came back up on its own, and guess what dropping slowly but surely. I have to be put back on steroids,  and nope not happy about it. If I don’t take them it could do more harm then anything,  but honestly I believe it make me sick at same time. I hope I can get some rest in a few.  I believe I shall wrap it up and try get comfortable.  I  have had some good nurses dis time around,  which is a plus. I hope all is well with each and everyone of you all.  God Bless

Posted in AWARENESS, Children, Health, Heartbreaking Story, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia

Day 1-3, Living With Sickle Cell Anemia

Hey Welcome to my World!  I Had to make a trip to hospital. Monday I came and got fluids and meds,  find out I was dehydrated.  I take it Tuesday must got the best out of me. Rain isn’t good for me. I woke up Wednesday morning in pain from head to toe. You can only imagine how I was feeling at the time. I hate coming to E.R you always got to wait forever and a day. Doesn’t matter how early you come in. I had bad experience Monday when I came in. The guy half did his job, and four people that got here after I did. I’m wondering wdh going on.

My count is dropping slowly.I’m still in pain, but not as bad as it was when I came in Wednesday. Be a lovely thing if I had no pain whatsoever.  What dis cruel world coming to. 8 year ole find dead in ditch with nothing on. So many people trying come to terms with such heartbreaking news.  Praying for the family. Well believe I cut it short, pain and sleep. I pray all is well with you all. God Bless