Posted in 2020, family, God, poem, Poetry, Pray, Prayers

Prayers

I’m so thankful for all the kind comments and prayers. Only God knows all things and just how much I’m lost without my ole man.

I’m in need of prayers for comfort

I’m in need of a piece of mind

Prayers

Are the only thing that will get me through all this.

One day at a time

My heartbreaking just the mere thought of not seen him anymore.

Breaking even more because of Sunday.

He just reminded us last month it was coming up.

Prayers

To not question why he choice to leave so suddenly.

Prayers

To know I got this thing life without him in my corner.

Prayers

For comfort for my family

Prayers

To keep living and not dwell on him not been here.

I know death is part of life.

It always catch me off guard when you don’t expect it suddenly

Prayers

Just to keep moving day to day.

Prayers

6.19.20

~PJ~

Posted in 2018, Cancer, change, Christian, Faith, family, fight, God, Update

Update

Hey, and Welcome to my World. Where should I start, I have tried doing update post since October when I got sick and ended up in the hospital for over a week. I even tried before the holidays. Almost had another hospitalization but I push through it. Two years ago in 2016, we got news my dad has cancer. What a blow to us. Many things ran thru my mind. Was severe was I going to lose him. How will we handle this as a family? It was a rough year and we made it. Two different treatment, the first one wasn’t helping. The second one well I did for a while made it smaller but when he went to check up at hospital nothing has changed. He on blood thinners but since he seems to be losing more blood they change his doses. Hope it helps. His getting transfusion every other week for past few months. Y’all know I know about them when dealing with sickle cell. I’ll make a separate post on me later on. I have learned so much about this blow. No matter what get throws at you. You can make it with faith, prayer. Things get rough but never give in to devil evil tactics. Some days my dad reminds me of me when I have to push myself when I’m hurting. I see aggravation at times, motivation to get better and fight. The different things we go through when dealing with health issues. We not only got hit with cancer, we also got hit with him having heart problems. Not just one blow but two. God knows how slow you down at times. Going end it here and hopefully finish with rest of update. Pray all is well who reads this. God Bless

Posted in 2017, Cancer, Faith, family, God, Health, My Journey, My Life, Sickle Cell Anemia, Update

Update

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Hey and welcome to my world. It has been awhile since I posted an update on what’s going on. I had doctor appointment Friday morning, and miss it due to a blowout. But thankful we didn’t get hurt.  We got someone to help us change the tire, and then the spare was flat. We had to put air in it and made out a way to tire place, to get the two front ones replace. I was two hours late, and they were gone from the clinic. I was so ticked off since I hadn’t been feeling my best whatsoever. I was glad to get my labs when I call the number they gave me. My counts were so so. I was surprised it was high as she said, but she said it was low for the type of  Sickle Cell, but retic was high. Now I know why I been having the darn headaches I hate. What a way to start your birthday.  I know I mention in few update post on finding a new primary doc, well I have and can’t wait to meet her. I have never had a woman doctor. I had them while in hospital but not as primary or sickle cell doctor. I shall keep you’ll post. My dad had a test the same day I had a doctor appointment to see if the treatments are helping and he just find out Tuesday when he went back for his treatment. Let me tell yall God is truly good all the time. Not just cause he got good news but just cause it has made me realize not to take love ones for granted.  I hope everyone is doing good and in good spirits. Remember to let your loved one’s know you love them before it’s too late.  I know it’s not much of update since my thoughts are everywhere.

 

 

Many Blessings to you all… God Bless:)

Posted in 2017, Cancer, God, Journey, Strength

Letter to cancer

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Dear Cancer,

Why you had come ruining my family? We didn’t welcome you, nor ask for you. Honestly I never thought I would hear your name in my household. I was always out looking in, but now I know first hand the damage you can cause on someone I love. But you don’t care, how you came. Long as you settle within the body, and destroy it. I’m watching you take a toll on my ole man..you not going to win dis fight, nor will you break him.. me on the other hand you’ll succeed. I’m fighting to control my fight and to overcome stress. you created so many problems with your arrival. You almost won cause you came unexpected. I’m thankful God stepped in and covered the situation. I catch myself checking on you throughout the day to make sure you still among the living. I’m tired of you and honestly I’m ready for you to exit the way you arrive.

 

Sincerely Concern,

Daughter

 

 

Posted in Bless, family, God, heart, Journey, Love, Love Journey, My Journey, My Love Journey, poem, Poetic, Poetry

Left a mark……

My heart beating to so many beats.. 
You got me confused  & I
Cant take it…
I’m grown now..  so the
Past will never repeat…
Ill always have feelings for you..
But you seem be the same
From my past…

We not young anymore..
So if you trying to play
Me..
Please walk away now
And let me be..
I never thought I catch
Feelings for you. 
Never imagine I’ll keep
Thinking of you..

I felt so hurt when I heard
You had a little one…
Thats when I knew I didnt
Mean anything to you  
Its cool. 
I’m over it..
Some days it still hurt,
But not as much as before..
Now you have another blessing..
I always knew you be a
Perfect father.. 
I saw so much in you..
Years ago…

You seem to take my breath a way…
Your smile is so amazing…
Your heart..
One of a kind, but already
Full with your family. 
Boy you got a piece of me. 
I hate it cause every time you
Walk in….
I knew my heart will be broken..
Why can’t you see. 
I’m one of a kind?
O well..
In due time..
Ill stop caring for you. 

Thank God…
For blessing me….
See the real you..
Thank God…
I have strength to walk away…
Before you do me harm   

9/10/15

PJ
I have started writing again. Actually wrote it while in hospital..I usually like to think and let stuff sit on my mind and heart for awhile.  Dedicated to my love journey  do enjoy.. let me know what you think.. God Bless:)

Will change title, still thinking on it:)

Posted in Death, family, Prayers

Losing A love one

As of yesterday, I lost a family member. I know last week I mention I most someone to sickle cell. As you may know for the ones that been following me for awhile, I don’t do funerals. So I didn’t and will not go when they put my cousin in ground to say goodbye one last time. I’m heartbroken and disappointed how he left this world. Right now I’m just asking for prayers for me and my family. I pray all is well with each and everyone of you. God Bless

Posted in AWARENESS, family, Friends, God, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia, Thankful, Update

Living With Sickle Cell Anemia

thumbnailSCDHello Everyone,  I’m finally home, been home for a few days now, spending time with my love one’s. Getting much rest as possible. I must admit I’m so glad to be home, so can’t wait to be feeling my best. I usually would have this post up already, but still not 100 percent. I’m hoping sometime this week to know if my blood count has went up some more. Before I left it was still in the 5’s and we all know that’s not good. I must be honest with you all. Only Lauren knows whats going on with me. Right now I’m not doing good. I was supposed to have surgery on my birthday to have hip replacement, due to my illness. But that’s when I find out I had warm antibodies in me, because I done had so many transfusions, that’s why I can’t have anymore right now. I have been on the meds for over a month,and there not doing anything for me. I’m getting a lil discouraged, I must admit that to you all. I have been at my lowest last week and wanted to throw in the towel. I don’t know if it’s because I was just tired because of my health, and everything just wasn’t going my way or just cause the devil was just trying to get the bet of me. I believe it was a little of both. I’m not thinking that anymore. I know God isn’t finish with me yet, I’m here for a reason, so I need to continue to hold on and continue to fight to he calls me home to be with him. I’m so touch and feel so much love by all of your comments and prayers, it truly meant so much to me. I got to many visits from family and love one’s and calls from my best friend and TN, y’all thank you for praying for her mom her who had a stroke, she is doing so good. She has been there for me and so has her brother. They  have been keeping me laughing and if I couldn’t sleep staying up with me, and just praying for me. I couldn’t ask for two great group of lovely souls than them two. God knew what he was doing, he knew I couldn’t have that surgery for a reason on 5.21.13, I had to overcome this obstacle last week, and I can’t wait to im fully over it. I can’t wait to I can share more with you all. I need my rest and to stay on top of my studies, you all know how much I hate to be behind on my studies. God is truly good. I want to say thank you again. Thank you for joining my JOURNEY, and been part of my blogging family. I pray all is well with each and every one of you. God Bless. Sending love and hugs to each and every one of you. God Bless 🙂

Posted in Death, family, God, poem, Poetry

Called Home…

God has call you home…

My heart goes out to your children..

I’m not going to pray you into heaven…

I wish you had live right to make it in..

My heart aches for you..

I’ll never see you again..

or that beautiful smile every time

I saw your face…

To my family stay strong..

I know you hurting…

But GOD doesn’t make mistakes

God Bless their mourning souls…

I pray they open their eyes up in time…

before its to late..

God has finally call you home…

2/28/13

~PJ~

 

Dedicated to my cousins, miss you and love you and heart goes out to your kids and the family. I know GOD doesn’t make no mistakes. God Bless

 

I may change title of poem, so bare with me and let me know what you think of the tile…

 

 

 

 

Posted in AWARENESS, family, God, Health, My Journey, Prayers, Sickle Cell Anemia, Update

Happy Holidays

I came home just in time for Christmas! Christmas Eve was my release date to spend with the love ones. The babies open there gifts lastnight and I’m so thankful for all the prayers and comments as we’ll.  I would have posted more but I was doing a lot of resting and making sure not to stress.  My blood is good! 🙂 I have doctor appointment in two weeks basically check up! I’m not happy about my Sickle Cell doctor appointment which has been puss back to March! Actually had call them before I went to ER! I do another post little later! Merry Christmas and God Bless:)