My healing process of losing a parent or parents is rough. I suppose it’s different if you’re not close with them or in my case a daddy girl. Please don’t ever let anyone rush you on how long you should grieve. Every day is a struggle. Some days i want to crawl back in bed and hide. I miss you from the bottom of my heart. I haven’t been the same since I got the call. Honestly i never imagine you would leave before me. The day before u died it broke my heart. I prayed to God and it went unanswered. Damn my hero isn’t here anymore. Your death has destroyed me to the point I stop living and was giving up. God put people in my life to encourage me to keep living. Today I’m taking it one day at a time until we see each other again.
Good Morning and Welcome to My World!! I don’t know if I’ll return to blogging. My world has come crashing down on me. I know it’s best to write then let it all build up on me before I explode. I lost my ole man on 6, cancer took him from me. I’m actually doing stuff to not think of him not bn here. But it’s hard when he was my hero. I finally wrote last night and it broke my heart. I know he in a better place but I just want him here with me. I did get a chance to tell him I love him the night before. He didn’t say it back he was hurting so bad. Omg to see him suffering was heartbreaking. I wish I could rewind time back to when he was healthy and strong. I know we’re not suppose to question God, but I wasn’t ready to let him go. I knew deep down I was going loss him, but not so soon. I think I’m going end post here. It’s breaking my heart. I do pray all is well with each and everyone of you all. God Bless
So many fighting diseases behind
Breaks my heart to hear
So many losing the battle…
You see our smile,
But not know our pain.
Fighting to live.
Holding back tears
So many warriors dying
From sickle cell, lupus, ms, cancer
And so many other diseases…
I never consider myself a warrior
Warriors coming out the closet
And letting the world know
I’m not a shame, my disease isn’t me.
Warriors are the ones,
Who keeps moving when the
The world has turned there back on us…
Keep marching to our heavenly
Father call you home.
Dedicated to so many falling warriors. Quit judging when you don’t know the whole story! God Bless. Feel as if I can add more.
Wanted to share it again for the month of September to bring more awareness to sickle cell since it was sickle cell awareness month. But as many of you may know I try to share it much as possible.
And welcome to my world. I took a break from writing about my disease because I felt like I was talking about it too much. But honestly its truly not enough information about what I and many others go through on daily basis. September is Sickle Cell Awareness month. With so many dying left and right and it seems like every day makes me wonder what is going on. Why isn’t there much information about what we go through and why does it seem like the doctor and nurses have stopped giving a damn about us? It’s time to better educated new and younger doctors/nurses about sickle cell and stop making it a black disease because that’s not the case. And time spread awareness on sickle cell trait. I got to stop being quiet and start opening my mouth and let the world know what’s going on. I have debated for a few weeks now on coming back and doing what I started. Some may not like my content and that’s fine. On days when pain is so bad, I pray that God calls me home cause it be just that painful and nothing love ones do doctor and nurses help. I recently had E.R visit after going months without having an issue. Sorry, I take that back, I fought it home a few months again. I haven’t been admitted since May before my bday. God is truly good all the time. I’m not sharing my story for pity, I’m sharing my story to spread awareness. The more I stay quiet the less is getting done for the sickle cell community. I do plan on doing an update post on how my experience went with hospital visit and doc appointment. I pray all is well with each and everyone of you all. God Bless
And welcome to Poets Afterthought, as you all know especially the ones been with me a long time my name was a poetic journey, it’s still my journey. I have sickle cell and been dealing with it all my life. But im truly tired of how we get treated when we go to the Emergency room. Some doctors shouldn’t have a license to treat patients, same goes with nurses. I done had my fair share. I usually keep quiet and don’t say what truly go thru with when I go. I’m just sick and tired of us dying because they believe oh she\he look good. Oh, they count fine, send them home. Basically so we can die and never be seen again. I could go on with the mistreatment we receive. I rather suffer at home than put up with bullshit doctors and nurses. I know by doing that I’m only hurting myself. I was watching video yesterday and it broke my heart, we have lost another warrior. We are not getting proper treatment. Point blank, we basically get screwed. Some times I have waited over 6 plus hours in the waiting room just to be seen. Plenty time for us get worse and die. I done waited a long time as well in the room after been call to back, so I could be seen by a doctor. Hell, half the time they run around chatting and joking with one another. I think it’s ridiculous for me to have been half dead are near death for them to do they damn job. I’m sick and tired of the mistreatment. If only they knew what we feel they would have more compassion. Just find out we lost another person. Some of these doctors and nurses still think it’s black disease but it’s not. I had to get blood work recently and had to get port access. One tech who they love call to try and stick me, knows I’m a hard person. Well, she just told me in my file it says to access my port. I’m wondering why these idiots not trying to do their job correctly, but rather put me thru more bullshit than my body can take. It’s sad when you have to pray that you’ll have a compassion doctor to actually do what need be done. How are we going fight when it seems the ones who suppose help us is letting us die.
Not my child
Not my child
Too many children dying young
We need start doing our jobs to protect them
We have to stop forgetting where the parents and not they friends
We have forgotten the value of life
We’re killing our young generation
Poison they mind
They have turned to social media
We have stopped caring till it’s too late
Not my child
Not my child
I’m sick and tired of seen missing children
When are we going to start making time for different things
And focus on our children…
First thing to come out your mouth is
Not my child
Not my child
And watch what’s going on
P.S this poem truly touches me deeply. After learning young girl lost her life. Missing child, devasted mom, town coming together as one. Praying for a safe return, having our hearts broken when her body is turned up. We got to do better without kids. Keep an eye on them and who we bring around them. Too many have gone missing and not return, are to return in a body bag. What the hell going on with the world harming children.
I pray all is well with each and everyone of you. It seem I always find my way back later then I would like to blog and check in with each and everyone of you all. We already in month Feb, be over soon. I love that its a short month to be honest. I really don’t have much to say. I just bn taking one day at a time and process of still looking for primary care doctor, everytime I think I have one they don’t take me for whatever reason. Since the last I posted my dad have started his treatment. Which is up and down days and he truly believe its helping. Such good news to hear from a love one. God is truly good all the time. He needs 2 units of blood since last visit for treatment a few days ago. He goes twice a month and come home with it and let it run its course. He such a strong man, but trust even the strongest have they moments. Good be prayed up. I have had two er visit and lets just say the first one went good. The second one not so good. I already hate the hospital that’s closer to me because half the doctor don’t do they job. Just cause they see a black person come in with sickle cell they think the worse. And half do they job, but I plan on doing complaint to take care of that situation. Enough is enough and I do mean enough. Sad say its not just black disease and till some go back to school and learn how the handle the disease a lot more of us are going to die. Im tired waking up every day and hearing how we lose another warrior. It piss me off. I know we all die but to see they tried get help and to be treated like animals just make my skin crawls. I believe going to end post here before I work myself up over stupidity. I pray all is well with each and everyone of you all. Hope to check in real soon to catch up on comments and blog post. Thank you all for staying with me and for the one’s that just join and I know I havent bn posting much.
I pray all is well with each and every one of you. I hope y’all having a good Holiday. I know I been away a lot. Every time I think I’ll return, something comes up with my health. I have bn having crisis in my hands for a month now. I’m right-handed and that’s the hand that been giving me trouble lately. I did have a good Thanksgiving. I know awhile back I had mention a death in the family and soon after we lost someone else. Its heartbreaking when you lose you child by another person hands. I wont go into detail about it. Ended October I was admitted, I was really sick. COunts had dropped tremendously . I haven’t bn that bad in over a year. I couldn’t walk and lets just say not talk either. I did a lot of crying and screaming. I was in hospital for over a week and few days. I can’t tell you when the last time my sickle-cell had me down that long. Im pretty sure if I read thru my blog It would let me know. I had to have two units of blood, I was running fevers but no infection so they say. Im just so thankful I got the blood. It had bn awhile since I had blood. Im thankful for that. God is truly good all the time. Im hoping to be back soon if not before year out. Making 2017 my year . I miss blogging and writing as well. Thank God for voice.. I hope to fill y’all in with more update soon. Right now Im in process of looking for new place. So we all know how that can be. I hope to catch up on blogs . I have read each and everyone of your comments, just haven’t had the time to accept and comment back. I love the holiday to be able to spend with my family. Thanksgiving and Christmas. Christmas I love the movie I get to see since end of October. I spent the whole week of thanksgiving with my love. She is growing up so fast. where does the time goes. Im hoping to return to my love journey post very soon. I so miss them but have bn saving my thoughts to share with you all. Im hoping be able to try to get something publish in the new year, only God knows. Until next time I pray all is well with each and everyone of you all. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Please do be safe and remember to let your love one know you love them every chance you get. Never know when its your last time on Earth. I don’t know it seem like every time someone look around someone losing someone. So I had mention it. God Bless