Category: My Journey

Posted in 2015, heart, Love Journey, My Journey, My Love Journey, poem, Poetic, Poetry

Regret

Posted on by poeticjourney

I regret that one last chance to go there with you..

that one last chance to put my feelings in the air..

I regret opening myself to a man who isn’t ready..

I fail to realize to not see I couldn’t control..

how my feelings would react when you walk back in..

How did I let my heart get chip…

dent…

I regret everything that has happen in the past week..

But then again I can’t say…

I really regretted it…

It was meant to happen, so I could open…

my eye’s to you..

I was hoping he would open

his eye’s to reality…

but as someone brought to my attetnion..

I fucked that up by been..

unexperience….

What do we do when regrets seem to take over..

But at the back on your mind..

You screaming…

but words seem to betray you ..

and your emotions is taking over..

Im stuck with regrets…

12/7/15

As I mention I have bn writing even though I may haven’t bn busy blogging and sharing. I have bn sharing my thoughts on paper. Right now I’m refusing to do just that, because I’m going thru so much as the poem says. I know things happen. Teach us a lesson. I hope and pray everyone have a bless Christmas and if you don’t celebrate Happy Holidays 2 you and yours. God Bless 🙂

 God is truly the reason for the season. I can’t sleep since I’m not feeling my best and my mind is doing 2 much thinking. I need to write and I don’t want 2. I usually let myself think for awhile before I temp to write. But I truly need to think as much as possible cause I refuse to write. No matter how much it may make me feel good or either break me .

 

Posted in 2015, Blessed, Death, family, God, Health, My Journey, poem, Poetry, Pray, Update

Update

Posted on by poeticjourney

Hello Everyone,

 

I hope everyone is well. I know its been awhile since I posted. I bn enjoying life and few hospital stays. But other then that all is well. Got heartbreaking news today, we lost a love one on my mother side right before the holidays. Always heartbreaking lose a love one, even more heartbreaking when its right before holidays. God doesn’t make any mistakes, that much I know.  I have decided to leave in a few months, I need get away. Part of me feel like I’m running away from certain things in my life, but part of me doesn’t. I need change in my life. I will come home and visit as much as possible. God work in mysterious ways. Im getting the opportunity to get my work publish, so Im excited about that. SO in the new year, I’ll be busy typing up old and new work and trying get everything that need be copyrighted.  I’ll try get back into blogging as much as possible. I have bn reading post and trying to like and comment. I have check up tomorrow with my sickle cell doctor. So I’m hoping for good news, since I haven’t been feeling my best lately. I pray everyone have a good Christmas and New Year. I shall post more or another post soon. God Bless:)

Posted in 2015, AWARENESS, fight, Health, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness, Thoughts!!!!

Living With Sickle Cell…

Posted on by poeticjourney

image

Am I really living? Came to conclusion Im not. I have stop doing the things I love. I have stop moving to my frustration to be better. I realize its time get out my comfort zone! Enough is enough. If we dont live now , we wont
be able live later 

Just wanted share some thoughts that bn on my mind lately. Stop letting stuff hold you down. Release anchor from your life and live.

Dis my month shine: Sickle CELL AWARENESS MONTH.  . I have bn in out hospital for about a month.. .Till next time do stay bless;)

Posted in Bless, family, God, heart, Journey, Love, Love Journey, My Journey, My Love Journey, poem, Poetic, Poetry

Left a mark……

Posted on by poeticjourney

My heart beating to so many beats.. 
You got me confused  & I
Cant take it…
I’m grown now..  so the
Past will never repeat…
Ill always have feelings for you..
But you seem be the same
From my past…

We not young anymore..
So if you trying to play
Me..
Please walk away now
And let me be..
I never thought I catch
Feelings for you. 
Never imagine I’ll keep
Thinking of you..

I felt so hurt when I heard
You had a little one…
Thats when I knew I didnt
Mean anything to you  
Its cool. 
I’m over it..
Some days it still hurt,
But not as much as before..
Now you have another blessing..
I always knew you be a
Perfect father.. 
I saw so much in you..
Years ago…

You seem to take my breath a way…
Your smile is so amazing…
Your heart..
One of a kind, but already
Full with your family. 
Boy you got a piece of me. 
I hate it cause every time you
Walk in….
I knew my heart will be broken..
Why can’t you see. 
I’m one of a kind?
O well..
In due time..
Ill stop caring for you. 

Thank God…
For blessing me….
See the real you..
Thank God…
I have strength to walk away…
Before you do me harm   

9/10/15

PJ
I have started writing again. Actually wrote it while in hospital..I usually like to think and let stuff sit on my mind and heart for awhile.  Dedicated to my love journey  do enjoy.. let me know what you think.. God Bless:)

Will change title, still thinking on it:)

Posted in God, Health, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness, Update

Update

Posted on by poeticjourney

I know it’s been awhile since I post. I bn going thru it dis summer.. some times I feel like I should give up, but my sense come back and reminds me. I’m here for a reason. God has last so even when we begging to be taking away. I got out Sunday and I’m pain again . I feel like my cold dawn got worse. Voice almost gone. I know when I left counts wasn’t the best, but I was ready.. if I known I wasn’t ready probably stay little longer.  Almost sickle cell awareness month, we have the bold lips for awareness.. wear your boldest lipstick and take pic and use hash tags. A few weeks when i got out,  had get my scripts . The woman behind counter ask me what sickle cell is, hate say I don’t like talking about it. I got get out of that mind frame n spread word. We lost another warrior a few nights ago. One day it’s going be me. I want to touch so many lives and do so much before I leave. I ask myself am I really living, part of me says I’m not. I’m hurting myself. I bn battling with my faith, illness.. I know God got me, no matter what. It just get so tiring when all u go thru is repeating itself.. hope that make sense, half asleep.. I pray all is well with each and everyone. God bless

Thank for riding with me…

Posted in 2015, My Journey, My Life, Update

Update

Posted on by poeticjourney

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I know it’s been awhile since I post. I pray all is well with each other. I have been taking it easy. Sad to say I have been in n out of hospital. Hopefully in due time I can return to blogging more. I have miss sharing and reading and hearing from you all. It’s the summer and I hate it. I’m spending time with my lil lady. We both turnt a year older in May. I have some poems to share with you all. Hope all is well with each of you….GOD Bless

Posted in AWARENESS, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia, Update

Update

Posted on by poeticjourney

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Good Evening and Welcome to My World… I know it’s been awhile since I posted pretty much anything. I finally got a new primary doctor. Took me two times to finally snap me into reality and change doctors. Only one GOD n let me tell you, he wasn’t it. I had to take extra trip to get put in hospital since he wouldn’t do it. So far as right now, I’m doing much then I was last week. The crazy weather was getting the best of me. One minute hot and next cold. Now it’s just right, I pray it last. Minus the rain. Blood count is holding it’s on for now which is good. I have had my check up with sickle cell doctor and blood doctor and it went well. Has been a month since I been in hospital, so That’s always a plus:) I’m working on getting more insurance because the one I have now, isn’t doing me justices. I’m hoping to visit other bloggers and return slowly but surely. I believe I mention awhile back I have to have surgery on my shoulder. I’m hoping to meet with him soon and once everything set up, I’ll post with you all. I pray all is well with each and everyone of you all. GOD Bless

Posted in 2015, heart, Love, My Journey, poem, Poetic, Poetry, Relatonships

Guilty

Posted on by poeticjourney

Guilty

Everytime I think of you, its like I’m betraying my heart!
Last conversation
We was down right guilty..
I love you!
Guilty!
I need you!
Guilty
Is love supposed be so damn difficult?
Guilty Guilty Guilty…
Loving you from a far. 
Isn’t helping…
Wishing you was near…
I need you like I need my last breathe…
So Guilty?
Can you charge me for staying true to my heart?
I haven’t acted out!
But baby I’m so Guilty,
I feel it in my soul. 
I yearn for you. 
Damn..
I’m Guilty!

2/17/15

So much on my mind I had to write it and share with you all. Do enjoy, and yes it’s dedicated to my Love Journey

Posted in God, heart, Love Journey, My Journey, poem, Poetic, Poetry, Relatonships

Farwell

Posted on by poeticjourney

My heart torn…
But life goes on…
I can’t believe it…
I’m finally learning
To let you go…
My heart is broken…
I knew dis day..
Was coming…
I just wasn’t ready…
To walk away…
Deep down I feel…
So cheated…
But Hey That’s life…
I’m so torn…
Learning to let you go…
My GOD..
Ima need you…
To handle my broken
Soul….
I can’t do it alone…
I’m so torn….

1/10/15
PJ

So much bn going thru my mind/heart  Not sure if I’m done with dis piece…..I know I’ll have more to come in near future. Do enjoy…

Posted in 2015, AWARENESS, Health, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia, Update

Day 4, Living With Sickle Cell Anemia

Posted on by poeticjourney

Not sure how to start my post. I have been sick since Christmas Eve. Didn’t want go E.R are miss bn my family for the holidays. I finally decided to go to E.R Saturday after Christmas,  long as my count was good, they didn’t keep me. I thought I was getting better and ended up worse then Christmas. Two more hospital visits before I was bless with doctor who knew what to do when it comes to my illness. Tuesday morning, I was brought back to E.R, but what a wait cause hospital was book. I know I cried so much that the pain got worse every time. 6 hours waiting to be seen. once I got in back, it went smoothly. Had a good doctor and nurse. I couldn’t walk the first few days. I can walk a lil now but legs still bothering me. I got two units first day here, didn’t work as soon as I got it. Brought my count up to 9, has drop to the 7’s now. Praying it doesn’t drop anymore. I’m still here cause of pain n count dropping. Hoping go home tomorrow but only time will tell. I’ll end it for now and share more at another time. Pray everyone had a good Christmas and New Year. GOD Bless