
What’s a mother.
I may not be one yet, but I do know
What one is because what my mother shows me every day.
Trust we may not get along all the time.
But one thing for sure she never turns her back on her kids.
A mother
Prays for you
Teach you right from wrong
Love you
Be there for you no matter how bad you mess up.
A mother you say.
Visit here and there
Isn’t what make you a mom.
Saying I love you but not
Doing what you should for them
Yea they say you carry them
But are you raising them?
Are you showing them the correct way how to be a mother?
A mother huh?
Can you remember a time
You stayed up with them through
Night.
Maybe sitting at the kitchen table trying figure out a math problem.
A mother job is never done.
Walking out on your kid/kids
Because things got rough.
You were dedicated to the streets then
Your babies.
A mother
Isn’t you.
But hey I’m a sit back and watch
Things unfold.
A mothers love is
Unbreakable.
To be one.
You need to learn love like
No other.
Fight like it’s your last breath
Take that last mile
To show them
I love you.
9/24/18
PJ
Not really finish yet. Seems to be missing something.


As I mention a few post back about meds they have me on and I would stop taking once again. Every since I stop taking, I done had less and fewer headaches. You would think they would have come out with meds just for us sickle cell patients instead of pushing the chemo meds unto us. I done tried these meds like three different times. I am damn if I stay taking it and not feeling my best. I have read the good and bad with the meds. But all I see is the bad, to be honest. This med can cover up the fact you be in crisis by making your levels look good when you not. It can make you lose your hair and also cause you to have cancer. And much more side effects. Oh yeah to top if off you not suppose to touch the meds without gloves, but they want us to take it? Ding Ding Ding, where the good at people? I don’t see it are either I just don’t care for the good. Some of the so call doctors only want to pump us with meds just to get us out of there faces. Last year I had some problems with E.R doctors. They didn’t want to do they damn job and could have cost me my life. I was seen in E.R over 10 times in one period of a month. My retic was high as I don’t know what came down to it when I was in full blown crisis, my counts were low as heck. I don’t know how I walk in that hospital but I knew for a fact I wasn’t walking out of it the same day. I was so thankful to have good E.R doctor that day. And I was on and off that meds at the time. How am I suppose focus if my head feels like it wants to explode into next week? How do you make time with your family count when all you feel is downright awful? So many questions and not enough answers. I have two doctors that’s, not in my area, but I hate to have travel long way when I’m hurting. Sitting too long in a car is so painful. You don’t have to have a sickle cell to understand where I’m coming from with that. I have been on Folic Acid since I was young and to be honest, I rarely take that med every day than to take chemo meds that give me more problems than it should. What do you do when you done gave it chance after chance, you throw in the towel with the meds and move on and live your life as best as you can. I’m either nausea all day are drained and just want to sleep. Why not correct a med just for us that may do more good than bad? It’s bad enough we having a fight with our body on the inside, but it would be nice to know someone was out there creating something to help us along this journey to live instead of giving up the fight as so many of us have. It is even nice if someone was creating a cure for it as well. Yes, I know only God can do that, just hurts to read so many losing the fight. Until next time God Bless 🙂