Posted in Faith, God, Health, My Journey, poem, Poetry, School, Sickle Cell Anemia, Update

My Story

Has taking me places I never thought it would be going.

Only honesty can get me out of this right now

So to my kind followers

Lately I have been losing

courage to share my JOURNEY

with you all.

It seem like I’m ready to throw

in the towel and ready to give up

All I want to do is cry,scream,yell

and hide under the covers in

the dark!

This is My story

2/22/12

PoeticJourney

I was going to put it in a poem, but I decided to just make it in a post to put all my thoughts in it! I hope you all brought your cup o joe and something to snack on as I share a little or should I say a lot with you. As of lately I have been in pain every single day since las Thursday! I enjoyed the few days of no pain.  Seems my blood count is looking good so they wont keep me. Sighs! I done read stories of other sickle-cell patients that in pain every day of they lives, but honestly that have never been me. My heart always went out to them, and broke. Yesterday I had one of my weak moments and just broke down and cried out and just wanted to be out of my misery. I know GOD got a purpose for me, I know he’ll take me out this WORLD when his ready! I’m just glad my blood count is looking good, but not happy about the pain I’m having and wish and praying that it will all go away. My doctor appointment didn’t go well if you all is wondering. His worry and I’m worry, his really want to get me into seen a sickle-cell doctor ASAP! So we can see what’s really going on with me. I feel like his giving up, and I know I wanted to give up. I just don’t want to since no one giving up on me or I get that vibe of them doing that. But I do understand if he can’t do anything for me I should see a doctor that can see whats really going on with me. I have good and bad moments. I have to tell you, I’m actually taking my time with this post. My classes have started again today, I thought I had another week but I do need something to take my mind off my pain. I even started playing Farmville on Facebook again, to pass time. I should read one of my novels I recently bought. I have done a lot of catching up on different blogs. Okay back to the point of my blog. I don’t want you all thinking I want pity, because that not what I’m about.  I never imagine MY JOURNEY would be rollercoaster, but GOD knew, so I’m going along with it! Some days I might not have much to share and some days I might have a lot to share. I actually have a class I have to retake because of being so sick last semester. Sucks, but for some odd reason I rather take it over then just make up the stuff I haven’t done.  After this semester I’ll be off to the FALL. Hopefully I have my illness in check and you all wont hear about me been in the hospital so much. I seem to be everywhere in this post once again. Lastnight I got so upset with the nurse, but she explain herself to me afterwards. I just want people to understand I HATE HOSPITAL/DOCTOR OFFICE/. I had a few good nurses last night, that took real good care of me. The nurse explain to me that I have so much going for me and she wants to know whats going on with me because she is use to take care of sickle-cell patients and she know I never use to come in as much as I have been coming in. I don’t blame her for thinking like that, but its a way to show someone you care so they can see where you coming from. I hope that made sense. Now I see what many sickle-cell patients go through when people think that addicted because they come to the hospital so often, hell if that was the case I would just go drop off all my prescription I have in my room and get them fill. I’m allerged to pretty much everything, so only can take one thing. Hmmm, and they keep giving me darn prescription for stuff I don’t like. Yes, I’m serious. Anyways away from that nonsense.  I’m so thankful for the encouragement and prayers, truly mean so much to me. You all just don’t know how much it keeps me going at times. 🙂 I know I’m not alone on this JOURNEY! I will not give up the fight, I’m trying to be more of ADVOCATE, something I truly always wanted to be. I know I keep tell myself I’ll do post explain what my illness is, do bare with me. I haven’t forgotten.

I haven’t lost my FAITH, not letting the devil get the best of me either. I know we all go through different things in life. I see my illness has been one of them as of right now. No limits to what GOD can do for me and any of us! God Bless 🙂

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Author:

I blog for many reasons, the love of writing, to inspire and touch someone life. No matter what I'm going through in my life. It's a get away when my SC becomes to much for me to handle. I love to get carry away in MY WORLD! I'm on a JOURNEY to discover myself. God Bless! :)

22 thoughts on “My Story

  1. Keep your head up. I know how it feels to just want to scream, yell, and give up (I feel that way right now), but the storm does not last forever. God is with us even in our most troubling times. Just keep fighting the good fight. Stay encouraged! God bless PJ

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  2. You are always in my prayer PJ, even I seldom visit due to I need also time to recover from my operation last Feb.11, just be strong and hold on, GOD is good, sending lots of hugs for you and for the family…

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    1. Thank You for your kind words, and prayers, truly means a lot to me. Your in my prayers as always! Sending love and hugs back your way! Make sure you get plenty of rest! God bless 🙂

      I believe we was in the hospital round the same time, but I got out on Valentine Day! Many Blessings

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  3. PJ, I have and always will keep you in my prayers. I can understand that this journey has been beating you up, and sometimes that quitting seems like the easy way. But from what I’ve read about you, I know you’re a fighter. So keep your head up, your heart strong, and know that this too shall pass.

    You have given so much insight to the struggle that a person with Sickle Cell Anemia goes through. God had build a strong temple in you. I firmly believe that God doesn’t give us more than what we can handle.

    Just know that you will always have support here, and a shoulder to lean on.

    Be Blessed!

    Kalley C

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    1. Thank You for your kind comment KalleyC, it truly touch my heart. Thank you for keeping me in your prayers and the word of encouragement! God Bless You 🙂

      I do hope all is well on your end!

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  4. PJ, as always I’m hugging you tightly in my heart…..and sending “fighting” vibes your way. Keep the faith.
    I agree with Kalley C – God has built a strong temple in you.

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  5. I am so glad you decided to put your story into a post instead of a poem.I am proud of you for getting your battle out there. People do need to know the facts and what you are dealing with. PJ, you are so strong and brave, you will get through this! I know you have your weak moments, you are allowed to because you’re human sweetie. The terrible pain, the blood counts, the crisises, there is so much involved here. I am honestly thinking the specialist doctor for Sickle Cell is the best answer, you do need someone who specializes because he may have some better ideas how to treat. I know I have read a lot and watched videos on people with Sickle Cell, it’s a very, very serious illness. I know it would be educating for others to see these, too. Your struggle is a complex one and one that causes so much pain, so many complications. It makes it so difficult with your allergies to most pain meds, but you keep going on. Keeping you in my prayers always, it comforts me to see the others here giving support and offering up prayers, too. I am glad of your slant on the class and how it’s going with school. By the fall time you will be feeling better, because God is Good and No Limits!! Sending you Lots of Love and Hugs PJ! 🙂 God Bless! 🙂

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    1. Gabby,

      I actually read your reply earlier this morninng and it truly touch my heart, I end’d up going back to bed because I wasn’t feeling my best. I believe just getting it off my chest the way I did was the best way to go then a poem at the time. I wish I wasn’t sick but its just started back yesterday so not to bad as of yet. Only two classes so I should be able to handle it, long as I stay health. 🙂 I knew I would get long comment from you, I was so expecting it. I do hope you both or feeling much better today. Once I get set up with the new doctor I’ll let you know how it goes. Right now I’m just tired of looking at them to be honest. If you seen one seem like you seen them only, welll I take that back there not all that cute 🙂 I had to throw that int here. Thank you both for praying for me! God Bless You 2 🙂

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  6. There are times we don’t realize how strong we reall are. God never gives us more than we can handle. I will pray for you. hugz.. 🙂

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  7. Oh, PJ, I’m sorry I’m late, after reading this…I’m sure we all wish we could erase the pain for you by finding magical words to write..maybe a specialist would be beneficial for you, to hopefully, find more answers to questions you have. Please don’t give up; I know we’re not walking in your shoes and I can only imagine your pain, but please don’t give up, try to stay strong and work towards your goal of being an Advocate; that would be wonderful if you could help others~You know you’re always in my prayers, so hang in there~xx

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    1. Lauren,

      You never late, you right on time. I’m dealing with a lot, so haven’t really been in the mood to blog and be my normal self lately. Thank you for your kind words, I’m not going to give up. I plan on fighting to GOD call me home 🙂 Thank you for always having me in your prayers, truly means a lot to me. God Bless 🙂

      I know some or worser off then me, and I’m truly BLESS to BE ALIVE 🙂

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      1. I know, you’re right, there are others who are worse off, but that doesn’t downplay what you’re going through, either, so hang in there, and you can always email me, if you need an “ear!” Hugs!

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      2. I guess it has been an eventful month, hasn’t it? Today was their 67th anniversary…my Dad’s okay, but it’s been a teary one, off and on. We’re all okay, though…my hubby is feeling better, no more fevers, finally! But, he’s still wiped out, but hopefully, will feel better for work on Monday, which is also his birthday! 🙂 And you’re never bothering me, anytime, email…xx

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      3. You truly had a lot going on this month. I’m glad to hear his feeling a little better, I pray he continues to feel better over the weekend! So ya’ll can celebrate his birthday! I keep your father and family in my prayers as well. I know its got to be rough on him. For this month to be so short, seem like a lot has went on! 🙂

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