Posted in 2022, Death, grieve, Journey, My Journey, My Life

How I grieved

Doing my grieving, I lost myself.

My Thoughts

My healing process of losing a parent or parents is rough. I suppose it’s different if you’re not close with them or in my case a daddy girl. Please don’t ever let anyone rush you on how long you should grieve. Every day is a struggle. Some days i want to crawl back in bed and hide. I miss you from the bottom of my heart. I haven’t been the same since I got the call. Honestly i never imagine you would leave before me. The day before u died it broke my heart. I prayed to God and it went unanswered. Damn my hero isn’t here anymore. Your death has destroyed me to the point I stop living and was giving up. God put people in my life to encourage me to keep living. Today I’m taking it one day at a time until we see each other again.

Posted in 2022, Health, My Journey, My Life, my story, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness, sickle cell disease, Update

Update

Another Update!!!!

Hello and Welcome to my world once again. It’s been a while and a lot has been going on. I don’t know where to start but I have been in and out of hospital almost every week. They weren’t listening to me. But I believe I’m on the right track now. I do have a check-up coming on in a few days. I truly had some good doctors that took the time to listen to me. Listen so good they made sure I was seen this week. It’s a blessing when God put the right people in your care. This month has been rough for me. I know for a fact, I’m not ready to stop living. So it’s time to fight.

Sickle Cell Update…

I have been having trouble with my heart rate getting high for no reason. Then my blood pressure got high as heck. 175/100. I was going thru it, to be honest. I wasn’t stressed The only time I would stress is if certain people would call with nonsense about stuff I can’t do anything about it because I’m sick. It’s crazy how they want to bother you when you are down? Anyways my counts ended up dropping and had to have blood. Just thankful it didn’t take me long like a month or two ago when dropping to 5.4. God knows how to slow you down. I truly have lost my way. My faith has been shaken. I’m working on finding myself again. Meaning spiritual and emotional and physical. I’m ready to start living again. I know the last visit I had started blogging and sharing more. But it was hard to focus thru pain and meds so gave up. I may share them still but as of now not sure about them. Going to cut the post here because tomorrow is doctor appointment and hoping to share more. I pray everyone us well and safe. God Bless

Please forgive me for the visits. Let me get myself together and I catch up soon.

Posted in 2021, AWARENESS, Cancer, chronic illness, God, My Journey, my story, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness

Living With Sickle Cell Anemia

Sickle Cell Warrior

Good Morning/Evening, I havent been feeling well for the past few days. I take it change of season. Some days I dont want to get out of bed, but hell who doesn’t have them days? On other days I just push through it and pray about it. Thats all I can do at times. I really do miss my dad. He would know what to say right now. Its another month and usually I get sick in October. But lately I been getting sick like every other month. I need to return to keto to be honest, it really helped me out . Have you every realize when you change your eating habit for the best, your body does so much better. I have slipped after losing my dad. But I must admit I’m not ready to leave this world just yet. So its time to get back on track. Another day in pain paradise. Not funny, but had to say it. When it comes to Covid, I make sure I dont go out if I dont have to. And I always wear a mask when I do step out, I care santizer and wipes. I dont do gloves because some stuff Im allergy to and same with diff mask as well. Its weird you never know what you allergy to until you stuck with having to have it around you or in your life constantly. I know I mention awhile back. I havent got the shot and I don’t plan on getting it. Im always careful and to be honestly I dont like been around people to be frank. Im more of a home body and I keep to myself. With this virus thrown at us it make us realize a few things. We tend to forget who and whats important to us. We have the opportunity to spend time with our love one’s. Thats a sore subject for me to be honest still. I still want more time to be with my dad. Covid didnt take him, the damn cancer rob him and us who love him. I always figure I would leave before him, but look I’m still here and his gone. Just thinking about it hurt

Posted in 2021, Encouragement, God, knowledge, Wisdom, Word Of Wisdom

Word of Wisdom

In this season, let go of the insecurities that has plagued you from moving forward, they can’t go with you where God want you to go.

Good Evening/Afternoon/Morning. God is truly good all the time. Pray message speaks to someone’s heart/soul. It truly spoke to mine. No matter what you going through seem it’s always a word to encourage our heart/soul.

Posted in 2020, Christian, Christianity, God, Spiritual Word Of The Day, The Word Of God/Bible, Word to the Wise (Spiritual Word Of The Day)

Word to the Wise (Spiritual Word Of Day)

Side Note:

The shaking is HERE. God is shaking loose EVERYTHING THAT IS NOT OF HIM! (Hebrews 12:24-29) Don’t be guilty of holding onto old perceptions, paradigms, and plans! #letgo
#worshipwordandwork

Good Morning, God is truly good all the time. Part the message speaks to someone’s heart/soul. I know I mention. I was going to try and blog every day. But I’m just not feeling it. Some days or better than the others. So I’m going to strive for the days and blog. I had lessons to learn this month so it’s hella rough. God Bless

Posted in 2020, Christian, Christianity, Faith, God, Spiritual Word Of The Day, Uncategorized, Word to the WIse, Word to the Wise (Spiritual Word Of The Day)

Word to the wise (Spiritual Word of Day)

The enemy has been attacking your CONFIDENCE and putting up road blocks on the path that God and your gut told you was right. You’re feeling anxious, scared and uncertain of yourself. The enemy is fanning the flames by playing voices of defeat in your head, activating nay sayers in your camp, and raising the stakes. Get out of your FEELINGS—that’s where the enemy is, and get in your FUTURE—and walk this thing out by FAITH. What God starts, God finishes.

#HappyTuesday

Good Morning, I pray all is well and everyone is doing well and message speaks to someone heart and soul. I will be making two post today since I miss yesterday post due to me not feeling well.

Posted in 2020, family, God, poem, Poetry, Pray, Prayers

Prayers

I’m so thankful for all the kind comments and prayers. Only God knows all things and just how much I’m lost without my ole man.

I’m in need of prayers for comfort

I’m in need of a piece of mind

Prayers

Are the only thing that will get me through all this.

One day at a time

My heartbreaking just the mere thought of not seen him anymore.

Breaking even more because of Sunday.

He just reminded us last month it was coming up.

Prayers

To not question why he choice to leave so suddenly.

Prayers

To know I got this thing life without him in my corner.

Prayers

For comfort for my family

Prayers

To keep living and not dwell on him not been here.

I know death is part of life.

It always catch me off guard when you don’t expect it suddenly

Prayers

Just to keep moving day to day.

Prayers

6.19.20

~PJ~

Posted in 2020, Cancer, chronic illness, Death, emotions, God, Mini Update, pain

Mini Update

Good Morning and Welcome to My World!!  I don’t know if I’ll return to blogging. My world has come crashing down on me.  I know it’s best to write then let it all build up on me before I explode. I lost my ole man on 6, cancer took him from me. I’m actually doing stuff to not think of him not bn here. But it’s hard when he was my hero. I finally wrote last night and it broke my heart. I know he in a better place but I just want him here with me. I did get a chance to tell him I love him the night before. He didn’t say it back he was hurting so bad. Omg to see him suffering was heartbreaking. I wish I could rewind time back to when he was healthy and strong. I know we’re not suppose to question God, but I wasn’t ready to let him go.  I knew deep down I was going loss him, but not so soon. I think I’m going end post here. It’s breaking my heart. I do pray all is well with each and everyone of you all. God Bless