Posted in 2019, AWARENESS, Death, fight, My Life, poem, Poetic, Poetry, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness

Our Fight

So many dying around us.

Young and old.

Will it ever be a cure.

So many deaths.

I’m tired of reading we lost

Somebody.

Somebody family is hurting

And suffering.

When will our care get better?

She/he fighting for their life.

Sickle cell

Needs a cure

And doctors/nurses who care.

Were tired of getting judge

Just cause you don’t know our pain

And understand our disease

When will y’all do right by us

So many dying

I’m tired of reading we lost

Warriors.

This fight is getting difficult.

Seems nobody cares

So many dying

Young and old

We fighting to live

each and every day.

All we want is just to live

2/10/19
PJ Prim

 

Posted in 2019, Cancer, family, God, My Journey, My Life, Sickle Cell Anemia, Update

Update

Good Morning and Welcome back to my world. Finally made it to my sickle cell doctor and must say glad be back on some of my meds. So far my sleep is blah. I done got out of bed, so many times. Either use restroom or something to drink. I done fold clothes up, played a few games on my phone. Why Am I Up? I need sleep, like right now. Guess I took my sleep meds late and body is like oh no we ain’t with that. Sighs. Tossing and turning and dealing with pain.

As some of yall may know if you been with me for a while. My dad has cancer. Well, he had to have surgery back in November because one wasn’t shrinking. It was getting bigger. The surgery went well. Thank God. He went for a scan last week to see how the others are doing since starting treatment again. They shrinking but two of them. The doctor wants to go in and remove them. My dad was like like let me think about it. In other words, pray about it and talk to the wife about it. You know God is good all the time. No matter what you going through. I can’t imagine not having my dad. When we find out a few years ago. It was shocking. We could have lost him. I thank God for that doctor appointment after Christmas. His counts were low. We knew something was wrong, but never in million years, we think it was cancer. We had to literally tell him to go to the hospital. He needed blood because he was losing it, and to see what was going on. His primary was like it maybe its cancer or an ulcer.

My nephew just celebrated his 9 birthday these past weekend. They grow up so fast. Where has the time gone? He celebrated his bday at the bowling alley. Second year in a row. No bowling, he chooses the arcade and lazor tag.

Posted in 2019, God, Health, My Journey, My Life, Sickle Cell Anemia

Living With Sickle Cell Anemia

Hey and welcome to my world. It’s been a while since I wrote anything about my disease. Every since new year came in I have been hurting and dealing with a minor crisis. I have made two e.r visits. The first one I should have stayed but I felt like I was better but let me tell you it was all in my head because I got worse but refuse to go right back. When you been thru hell with medical staff people you choose to go home then being judge from people who don’t know your illness. I ended up going back Sunday and counts had come back up but was still hurting. A different doctor that day and since counts look better they wouldn’t admit me. So I had tough it out at home.

I haven’t seen my sickle cell doc since September and ended up losing my primary doc because she moved back home. Without primary doc, you can’t get in to see a specialist without a referral. So I have been without my meds since November. I must admit I don’t miss taking them, but I know my folic acid is a must have for me. To help me stay healthy. You don’t realize how much you so dependent on meds, like my sleep meds. I haven’t been sleeping lately. I hate the pain meds they have me on, makes me itch and let me tell u I hate scratching. The E.R did a number on me. I have so many fresh scratch marks on me from a week ago. Nope, they haven’t healed yet. I have been taking over counter meds to help with minor pain. I finally find a new primary doc and hope meet her next month. My blood doc got me in to see my sickle cell doc next month on 4, so I’m happy about that. It’s odd how I can see cancer/hematology doc without a referral. So thankful for him. Also get labs and result on the same day. My count has dropped once again. Guess that’s why I been cold so much lately and hurting. Winter is heck on my body. All I want is feel normal without pain, but I wouldn’t wish my illness on anyone. It amazes me how many nurse and docs have compassion and the ones who don’t. Are we allowing frustration of someone we once love to destroy the compassion we have as human beings?

Posted in 2018, My Life, poem, Poetic, Poetry, Sickle Cell Anemia

Fall

how you just swept in and blew us away.

I mean the calendar said September you would

arrive.

I must say, I wasn’t prepared but truly did enjoy it

I get to pull my long sleeves out

dress up my tank top with a jean jacket

to keep me warm and safe.

My body may not agree with my words,

but I can’t help myself.

Fall

you done, did it?

Michael didn’t have anything on you.

Heart goes out to the ones that are suffering.

But Fall,

you brought the windy weather

And turn my world upside down.

Fall

Has finally arrive

10/8/18

~PJ~

Posted in 2014, 2018, AWARENESS, Death, fight, God, Journey, My Journey, My Life, poem, Poetic, Poetry, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness

Warrior

So many fighting diseases behind
Close doors…
Breaks my heart to hear
So many losing the battle…
You see our smile,
But not know our pain.
Fighting to live.
Holding back tears
So many warriors dying
From sickle cell, lupus, ms, cancer
And so many other diseases…
I never consider myself a warrior
Warriors coming out the closet
And letting the world know
I’m not a shame, my disease isn’t me.
Warriors are the ones,
Who keeps moving when the
The world has turned there back on us…
Warriors
Keep marching to our heavenly
Father call you home.

4/10/14
PJ

Dedicated to so many falling warriors. Quit judging when you don’t know the whole story! God Bless. Feel as if I can add more.

Wanted to share it again for the month of September to bring more awareness to sickle cell since it was sickle cell awareness month. But as many of you may know I try to share it much as possible.

Posted in 2014, AWARENESS, Faith, God, My Journey, My Life, poem, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness, Strength

Against All Odds

I learn to fight
I shed tears, question
Myself if I was meant for
These journey with Warriors
Against All Odds.
God showed me just how..
Strong I was to be Warrior..
He knew what he was doing
When he created me
Against All Odds .
I showed strength, when I wanted
To give up
God showed me love…
In the midst of storm
He showed me I’m nothing
Without him..
Reminded me to hold on to
Faith…
Against All Odds..
4/18/14
PJ

Dedicated to my journey of life. No matter what you going thru his right there in the midst! Don’t stop fighting/ believing in him..No matter my odds, God had everything in control… Not sure if I’m happy with this piece, do let me know what you think 🙂

I’m re sharing poems dedicated to my illness to the end of month since its sickle cell awareness month. I do have new one’s I hope to put up real soon, so do bare with me. If you don’t like rereading different post that’s fine as well. God Bless;)

Posted in 2011, 2018, AWARENESS, fight, God, Health, My Journey, My Life, poem, Poetic, Poetry, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness

Scar

My scars
Tell a story
Some may think
Im addict
Im not Feenin
For drugs
Im Feenin
For nomore pain
My scars
Tells a story
Of me fighting
Sickle Cell Disease
My life
Is not yours
God gave me
This life
To share it and hopefully
Educate the World
On my illness
My scars
Tells a story

12/13/11

PoeticJourney

 

I have shared this poem before and wanted to share it once again. This month is sickle cell awareness month.  With so many of us dying each and every day. I had to the need to share it one more.

 

Posted in 2018, Blessed, Blogging Anniversary, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia

7 years

Wow, I been here for seven long years a few breaks here and there. I started my blog when I was in college and wasn’t sure what put on my blog. With help of a lovely male nurse. He gave me the idea to spread awareness about my illness. I thought about blogging about my degree and what made me go that route. After going in and out of the hospital in my early 20’s I knew the world needed to hear my story. I never thought people would actually be moved by my story dealing with sickle cell. Hell, I didn’t think anyone would care to be honest. So many times we tend to keep our demons to ourselves because we scared what others may think because they don’t understand the struggle. I see i have made the right place by making WordPress my home to share my story and so forth. So thank you to each and everyone of you for making me feel welcome and joining my journey. Many Blessings. 🙂

Posted in 2018, AWARENESS, God, Journey, Mini Update, My Journey, My Life, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness

Living With Sickle Cell Anemia

Hey World,

And welcome to my world. I took a break from writing about my disease because I felt like I was talking about it too much. But honestly its truly not enough information about what I and many others go through on daily basis. September is Sickle Cell Awareness month. With so many dying left and right and it seems like every day makes me wonder what is going on. Why isn’t there much information about what we go through and why does it seem like the doctor and nurses have stopped giving a damn about us? It’s time to better educated new and younger doctors/nurses about sickle cell and stop making it a black disease because that’s not the case. And time spread awareness on sickle cell trait. I got to stop being quiet and start opening my mouth and let the world know what’s going on. I have debated for a few weeks now on coming back and doing what I started. Some may not like my content and that’s fine. On days when pain is so bad, I pray that God calls me home cause it be just that painful and nothing love ones do doctor and nurses help. I recently had E.R visit after going months without having an issue. Sorry, I take that back, I fought it home a few months again. I haven’t been admitted since May before my bday. God is truly good all the time. I’m not sharing my story for pity, I’m sharing my story to spread awareness. The more I stay quiet the less is getting done for the sickle cell community. I do plan on doing an update post on how my experience went with hospital visit and doc appointment. I pray all is well with each and everyone of you all. God Bless

Posted in 2018, AWARENESS, God, Health, My Journey, My Life, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness, Update

Update

Hey and Welcome to my world. It’s been few weeks since I wrote update. Every since then it’s one thing after another. Last month I ended up in hospital three times. Got admitted the last visit. I ended up with flu, due to someone sending they sick child to school and passing it to my niece. Please for the love of God, stop sending sick kids school. The first visit was negative, was running fever of 103. They didn’t keep me but sent me home. Oh yea they wanted to say UTI was the case of my fever and pain. Guess who got worse and had go back. Check for flu, and won it. Seciously I wasn’t please. They didn’t check anythingelse. Couple days later woke up with chest pain. Praying it go away but no can do.I had go back and let me tell y’all I waited four eyes in lobby. They wanted say of her pain from her uti that’s why they didn’t take me serious. I had keep myself calm. It wasn’t busy I arrive lil after 4 in morning. I had to make me way to register just to see why the hold up was. She was like they trying get room. That was lie when so many people was coming in and out. I had let her know I came in with chest pain and back and leg. When you having chest pain they suppose take you to the back. She made call to back and few mins later I’m called back. Guess what? No ekg, x ray, pain meds. Nothing. They tried cAll me back earlier for labs but they know in my file says port since hard to stick. Oh I went back but she miss and she didn’t understand why they wasnt doing port. Got port excess finally after they call me. Labs drawn, order fluids and antibodies. Here they come with tordal. Had wait 3 more hours to I got room. My count had drop more and so retic was high. Only way find out cause tech came to type and cross me. Oh yea when so call nurse practitioner came in she was like we may send you home. I’m like wdf. No ma’am. I was just shock on whole treatment, but you know what I shouldn’t be. That’s how sickle cell patients get treated. It’s bad enough we dying like no tomorrow, because so call doc and nurse practitioner not doing there job. Once on floor still no pain meds. Had keep praying and staying calm because that just how much I was hurting. Finally got meds but pill. Takes pill longer to work. I had been crying and praying. Three hours later my nurse return and says I find you doc that had you before and prescribe me my usual meds. Praise God! She got my meds and doc comes in and I tell him what’s going on and that I didnt get ekg are x ray. He was shock and order ekg asap. I could had acute chest. Thank God no acute chest. They did ekg two days in row and x-ray the next day. I had four day stay. I ended up getting blood, because counts drop. Blood came day earlier and let me tell you I was happy hear it. It was my first hospital stay for 2018. I only had two last year because I truly gave up on medical field. Back in October I was in week and day.

I tried to give hydrea a try again.( if you wonder what hydrea is, its cancer meds but sickle cell patient could take it to lower crisis and hospital visit). I couldn’t do it. I just didn’t like the outcome. It brought my counts up, but I started to have chest pain and I couldn’t take it. It’s my body and I’m the one dealing with outcome. I had mention about chest pain and she was like I never heard not giving people chest pain. Lets just say I did my own research on meds. Had doc appointment today and she mention a new meds just for sickle cell patient. It comes In the mail. I plan on posting about it once I start taking it. I’m praying I didn’t leave anything out. Until next time. God Bless:)