Posted in 2017, AWARENESS, Cancer, fight, God, My Journey, My Life, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness, Update

Chemo Meds? (hydroxyurea)

Hello World,

604290265As I mention a few post back about meds they have me on and I would stop taking once again. Every since I  stop taking, I done had less and fewer headaches.  You would think they would have come out with meds just for us sickle cell patients instead of pushing the chemo meds unto us. I done tried these meds like three different times. I am damn if I stay taking it and not feeling my best. I have read the good and bad with the meds. But all I see is the bad, to be honest. This med can cover up the fact you be in crisis by making your levels look good when you not. It can make you lose your hair and also cause you to have cancer. And much more side effects. Oh yeah to top if off you not suppose to touch the meds without gloves, but they want us to take it?  Ding Ding Ding, where the good at people? I don’t see it are either I just don’t care for the good. Some of the so call doctors only want to pump us with meds just to get us out of there faces. Last year I had some problems with E.R doctors. They didn’t want to do they damn job and could have cost me my life. I was seen in E.R over 10 times in one period of a month. My retic was high as I don’t know what came down to it when I was in full blown crisis, my counts were low as heck. I don’t know how I walk in that hospital but I knew for a fact I wasn’t walking out of it the same day. I was so thankful to have good E.R doctor that day. And I was on and off that meds at the time. How am I suppose focus if my head feels like it wants to explode into next week? How do you make time with your family count when all you feel is downright awful? So many questions and not enough answers. I have two doctors that’s, not in my area, but I hate to have travel long way when I’m hurting. Sitting too long in a car is so painful. You don’t have to have a sickle cell to understand where I’m coming from with that.  I have been on Folic Acid since I was young and to be honest, I rarely take that med every day than to take chemo meds that give me more problems than it should. What do you do when you done gave it chance after chance, you throw in the towel with the meds and move on and live your life as best as you can. I’m either nausea all day are drained and just want to sleep. Why not correct a med just for us that may do more good than bad? It’s bad enough we having a fight with our body on the inside, but it would be nice to know someone was out there creating something to help us along this journey to live instead of giving up the fight as so many of us have. It is even nice if someone was creating a cure for it as well. Yes, I know only God can do that, just hurts to read so many losing the fight. Until next time God Bless 🙂

Posted in 2016, Update



Hello World,

I how everyone had a good and bless weekend. I did have a doctor appointment today. Lets just say dis before in get into it all. I hate going see my primary doctor. If you say my appointment is at 1 I expect to be seen at such and such time. I should be seen. I had to wait three hours, yes, you read correctly.  I made appointment to just get referral to be able get my eyes check and get my shoulder check. Which I had to get my headache meds change since the new whatever they done did don’t agree with me. I’m allergic. Other then that I had OK day. I’m enjoying the spring like weather. I hope all is well with your all.  God Bless

Posted in 2014, AWARENESS, God, Health, My Journey, Prayers, Sickle Cell Anemia, Update

Living With Sickle Cell Anemia


It have been awhile since I mention my illness,to it surprise me last week and broke my spirit at same time. But I know God is all I need.It started with me getting nasty cold, which turn out be bronchitis with lil pneumonia! Im like serious on bronchitis, just went through it the month before.I couldn’t hardly move,so that was my notice to make my way to evil place! God Bless me with some good nurses and doctor while in ER!  I did have a long wait, which my poor body hated, and germs spread! You would think peep would cover mouth,but nope! As you all know, im finally home since MondAy afternoon! Lets just say,my body is in for a fight of my life again. I rather not go into detail. If I refuse to take my meds, im killing myself!But come on, all meds have bad sides of them! I almost went back to hospital Tuesday, I was in so much pain! Hurt move,talk, think, cry! God gave me strength to fight without the hospital! Im still in some pain, but not as bad as early in the week! Good weather, and I cant enjoy it:( I have update doctor appointment next week, plus to get recheck on labs and xray really? Labs understabdable, but umm u sent me home saying things look better! No smart comment at the moment! Turn out I needed antiobodies, which wasn’t mention to me before you discharge me! Thinking I need a new primary doctor! Im lil lazy to do the searching right now, but dont feed me bs and then have to eat your words later 🙂 All the prayers,comments touch my heart in so many ways. I cant have transfusions, to everything is cleared. I left hospital at 7.2! Another rough journey, im praying ill make it through once again. Makes you wonder how some people become doctors when you educationing them. I did have two big idiots as doctors.

Posted in God, Health, My Journey, poem, Poetry, Sickle Cell Anemia

My Pain

My pain,

you can’t see

Do they not


I hurt in

the same way?

Why must I suffer

because of stupidity

I know they thinking

nothing wrong, she

here for the meds.

The pain

I have, they should

walk a mile

in my shoes

Are we not the


Look pass my outer

Laying here

tossing & turning


The pain

I have is driving me


Do they not understand

I hate this place

Don’t I tense up

every time a needle

is mention.

I know they got

to be tired of seen me

trust it goes both ways.

My pain

they don’t understand

nor believes.

Oh your blood count is good

and everything else is fine

Lets send her home.

I swear they love seen

me coming back

to this EVIL PLACE

I wish they could

understand and treat me

with RESPECT..


I know you in Control

and you know my pain

Praise God

for a doctor

who understands,

a friend

who always there

a nurse

who never forsake me

Praise GOD

he knows My Pain




I’m so thankful for everyone kind and encouraging words, and letting me know you still praying for me. Yesterday morning I woke up around 12 and my whole body was hurting, I couldn’t move. I got up and fell back down on my bed. Took me turning and tossing in my bed for like 4 hrs to get back right so I could sleep. I still wasnt feeling my best when I did my post yesterday. The poem is inspired about what happen and etc…