The day I stop drinking coffee. Oh, how I miss you. So yummy and hot, the smell of French vanilla cream. I miss the taste of you. I believe I’m struggling with not having a cup every morning. I even miss read a product that was obvious for the shower, and I was using it like it was lotion. Can I truly be leaving my caffeine coffee and turning to no caffeine tea? Believe I’m losing my mind, thinking tea can replace my first love. My days seem to pass me by like it’s nothing. Does cutting coffee cold Turkey interfere with your memory.
Today isn’t a good day, I have been hurting since Tuesday. I haven’t seen inside hospital e.r since the beginning of the year. Some days are better than the others. I may be going to the hospital later today, but let me tell you, that’s the last thing I want to do be honest. But the meds aren’t working, I haven’t had pain meds that hospital give it a long time. I have been taking nerve meds to relax, but it’s not working. So I know what I need to do… It’s the idea of ignorant doctor knowing more about my illness that’s turns me off on going to be treated. I truly believe some doctors are out to kill a lot of us with this illness.. Oh, your blood count looks fine, so we not going to do anything. The last time I went. My retic was high, did the idiot check my counts nope just retic. Did he give me any meds that I was suppose to get. Nope, he gave me something I never had before and it made me feel worse. Did he give a damn, nope. They truly believe giving us fluids should help without proper care. I just hope when I do go to the hospital I don’t have to deal with idiot doctor. My whole body is betraying me in the worse way. sighs…Do keep me in your prayers, I’ll be cutting these post short, because hurting too bad to focus properly. I pray all is well with each and every one of you. God is truly good all the time,
no matter what we go through. He got us.
Hey and welcome to my world. It has been awhile since I posted an update on what’s going on. I had doctor appointment Friday morning, and miss it due to a blowout. But thankful we didn’t get hurt. We got someone to help us change the tire, and then the spare was flat. We had to put air in it and made out a way to tire place, to get the two front ones replace. I was two hours late, and they were gone from the clinic. I was so ticked off since I hadn’t been feeling my best whatsoever. I was glad to get my labs when I call the number they gave me. My counts were so so. I was surprised it was high as she said, but she said it was low for the type of Sickle Cell, but retic was high. Now I know why I been having the darn headaches I hate. What a way to start your birthday. I know I mention in few update post on finding a new primary doc, well I have and can’t wait to meet her. I have never had a woman doctor. I had them while in hospital but not as primary or sickle cell doctor. I shall keep you’ll post. My dad had a test the same day I had a doctor appointment to see if the treatments are helping and he just find out Tuesday when he went back for his treatment. Let me tell yall God is truly good all the time. Not just cause he got good news but just cause it has made me realize not to take love ones for granted. I hope everyone is doing good and in good spirits. Remember to let your loved one’s know you love them before it’s too late. I know it’s not much of update since my thoughts are everywhere.
Many Blessings to you all… God Bless:)
As I mention a few post back about meds they have me on and I would stop taking once again. Every since I stop taking, I done had less and fewer headaches. You would think they would have come out with meds just for us sickle cell patients instead of pushing the chemo meds unto us. I done tried these meds like three different times. I am damn if I stay taking it and not feeling my best. I have read the good and bad with the meds. But all I see is the bad, to be honest. This med can cover up the fact you be in crisis by making your levels look good when you not. It can make you lose your hair and also cause you to have cancer. And much more side effects. Oh yeah to top if off you not suppose to touch the meds without gloves, but they want us to take it? Ding Ding Ding, where the good at people? I don’t see it are either I just don’t care for the good. Some of the so call doctors only want to pump us with meds just to get us out of there faces. Last year I had some problems with E.R doctors. They didn’t want to do they damn job and could have cost me my life. I was seen in E.R over 10 times in one period of a month. My retic was high as I don’t know what came down to it when I was in full blown crisis, my counts were low as heck. I don’t know how I walk in that hospital but I knew for a fact I wasn’t walking out of it the same day. I was so thankful to have good E.R doctor that day. And I was on and off that meds at the time. How am I suppose focus if my head feels like it wants to explode into next week? How do you make time with your family count when all you feel is downright awful? So many questions and not enough answers. I have two doctors that’s, not in my area, but I hate to have travel long way when I’m hurting. Sitting too long in a car is so painful. You don’t have to have a sickle cell to understand where I’m coming from with that. I have been on Folic Acid since I was young and to be honest, I rarely take that med every day than to take chemo meds that give me more problems than it should. What do you do when you done gave it chance after chance, you throw in the towel with the meds and move on and live your life as best as you can. I’m either nausea all day are drained and just want to sleep. Why not correct a med just for us that may do more good than bad? It’s bad enough we having a fight with our body on the inside, but it would be nice to know someone was out there creating something to help us along this journey to live instead of giving up the fight as so many of us have. It is even nice if someone was creating a cure for it as well. Yes, I know only God can do that, just hurts to read so many losing the fight. Until next time God Bless 🙂
Good Morning World,
I hope everyone had a bless and safe weekend. I hope everyone that was affected by the storm is doing ok. My end wasn’t as bad as some area. Got plenty of rain and win that 4show. Other than that we came out okay. I haven’t been to my place see how it did on that end yet. I’m hoping to check it out. After seen that video going around on facebook of the two trap babies. Omg God is truly good all the time. It brought tears to my eye’s see how all that was involved came together save them, babies. My god that stranger that was praying the whole time. Just really did it for me. Nobody but God that’s all I can say. Yesterday was a pretty day. Windy and sun were out. I love how the weather can make something so bad be so beautiful. Watching the news and seen how many people died. My God, it breaks my heart, let us keep them in our prayers and their family as well. We never know when it’s our last time on earth. Let’s remember to let our loved one’s know we love them and we forgave them for whatever the reason maybe. Sometimes we think we have more time to do whatever we haven’t done. But honestly, we don’t.
I have been debating on what to post or how to share certain things with you all on my blog since I have been going so long. I have plenty to post about, it’s the idea getting everything together just right that bothers me. Till next time, I pray all is well with each and every one of you all. Take the time and pray for someone are let them know hey I’m thinking about you are I love you. God Bless during these terrible times we living in.
Good Afternoon World,
What a day, had wait an hour to be seen. That’s one of the reason I hate doctors offices, you hardly ever seen when you suppose to be seen. But honestly I can understand when you go to oncology/hematology doctor. They see so many patients, many cancer patients on top of what I have. I know some maybe getting bad news and some maybe getting good news. My heart goes out to the one’s who receiving devastating news. Today was sorta good day. My counts were 8.3 and 24. I haven’t been that high in a while. It might be from the meds that suppose to help me have less crisis, but I can’t handle them headaches with the pills. I just have to stick with my Folic Acid. Besides I have been cutting back on a lot of things. So whose say I truly need that meds. I hate reading story of woman losing they hair to the meds. Some even had to shave they head and go natural. Me on the other hand I’m already natural and I would hate to have to start over again on my journey. I must admit I love my doctor. I love how he talks about God and come in with good attitude. When you find a good doctor, you know you in good hands. If only he was still in the state of Alabama and not Florida. It’s cool day here, but nice breeze and weathers. I love it. Not to hot and not to cold. I didn’t get chance see the sun till about around 1. It was gloomy all day. I must admit I might some nice people while waiting. I’m usually jamming and not paying attention to my surrounding, but t.v no music in ears. Did have a good boom read but still had chance talk different one’s. I believe out of all them was older woman. I’m hoping she got good news, she came out in good spirits, telling different one ‘s bye and speak to them later. Before she left she said God Bless sweetie and I said it back. Her strength showed through her character. Well going end post here. I pray you all are well. God Bless
Good Morning World,
I know it’s been awhile since I last posted. I have bn busy trying find new primary doctor, taking care of myself at home without er visit. It hasn’t bn easy, but haven’t been in one, in few months. Before I forget hope everyone enjoyed Easter. And we all know the real meaning of it. So I won’t go there right now. I’m not feeling my best at the moment. I have appointment with m hematology doctor Monday, just trying hold out till then. Pray for me please and thank you. Well good news I find primary doctor and cant wait meet her next month. I’ll make another post on that. Hopefully Monday I’ll have good news on what’s going on with me. Usually my counts drop some. It hasn’t been in 8’s for a few months now. In December I had stop taking meds that would help lessing crisis and E. R visit. I had the worse Christmas ever. I was in bed most of the day. My head felt like it wanted explode. I ran fever as well. I refuse I was going go to hospital another christmas. So when saw sickle cell doctor two months ago, they put me on it again but took it down 3 instead of 4 and lesser doses. I hated the meds years ago and I hate it now. Let me tell you I don’t know how much longer I’ll keep taking it. Right now I’m still having headaches every day. Not sure if it’s from meds are I’m getting sick. I truly have miss blogging. I have started writing again, I take it I have been bitting by writing bug. I can finally express myself the way I should and deserve. I pray all is well with each and everyone on you all. God Bless
Good Morning World,
I pray all is well with each and everyone of you. It seem I always find my way back later then I would like to blog and check in with each and everyone of you all. We already in month Feb, be over soon. I love that its a short month to be honest. I really don’t have much to say. I just bn taking one day at a time and process of still looking for primary care doctor, everytime I think I have one they don’t take me for whatever reason. Since the last I posted my dad have started his treatment. Which is up and down days and he truly believe its helping. Such good news to hear from a love one. God is truly good all the time. He needs 2 units of blood since last visit for treatment a few days ago. He goes twice a month and come home with it and let it run its course. He such a strong man, but trust even the strongest have they moments. Good be prayed up. I have had two er visit and lets just say the first one went good. The second one not so good. I already hate the hospital that’s closer to me because half the doctor don’t do they job. Just cause they see a black person come in with sickle cell they think the worse. And half do they job, but I plan on doing complaint to take care of that situation. Enough is enough and I do mean enough. Sad say its not just black disease and till some go back to school and learn how the handle the disease a lot more of us are going to die. Im tired waking up every day and hearing how we lose another warrior. It piss me off. I know we all die but to see they tried get help and to be treated like animals just make my skin crawls. I believe going to end post here before I work myself up over stupidity. I pray all is well with each and everyone of you all. Hope to check in real soon to catch up on comments and blog post. Thank you all for staying with me and for the one’s that just join and I know I havent bn posting much.
With everything going on in my world…. I have thought about writing for the past few weeks but just didn’t have it in me. But I’m finally making myself, but pushing myself to do better. With today society, you need a place to escape to. My dad will start treatment in few weeks. I’m nervous and thankful.Deep down I know he going fight dis cancer. He got a port about week ago. Its weird having my dad ask about different things, about port. A few weeks ago we had a scare. He went to get registered for surgery day before. But EKG showed us his heart was off beating fast,so he had spent few days in prison. They got him on new meds for his heart. His truly a strong man. I been dealing with my illness best I can. I have no primary doc at the moment. Looking for a new one. Ionly had two er visit so far dis year. The hospital close to my parents I hate. They feel if your counts good they won’t do anything for you. I have lost faith in the medical field. You suppose help us and not judge us. Then when we die in your care are lack of. You don’t give a damn. I had got really sick back in October. I w as going back and forth to er. Retic was high, but counts OK. Oh you making new blood cells. Which was damn lie. Last time I had went, they did t recheck counts. Few days later. I w as in full blown crisis and couldnt walk, so thankful I had a good doc working and on my team. Now a days I try and tough it out, and yes I knoe that’s not good. Anyways away from that. A new year and January is almost out. Wow. I hope each and everyone of you is well.. I will have another update soon. So much say and do. I need get with it. I’m trying go back school and finish my last year. Anything that keep me thinking and not stress about what’s going on around me. When will stop habiting and judging and just love? So much hate going on around us. I believe I’ll end my post here. I pray everyone is well. God Bless.
It’s bn few days, bn taking things and life slow. As I mention in last post. We find out my dad has cancer. All I know is it serious and I’m not sure just how. I believe and know God has the last say so. I had check up today and counts have drop from 8.8 to 7.5. Doc believe need unit, but I’m not trying have that right now. I bn dealing with headaches and pain lately. I knew it was something but just figure it was the weather. Last time i went er, they did nothing and I was running fever and coughing and whatnot, but since everything looks fine to them sent me home. Smh. I hate when people don’t so they job and think just cause counts fine nothing wrong. Well obvious they was wrong and probably my stressing didn’t help. The kids went back to school yesterday. So that a plus, we can rest and do more when they away learning.. lol.. omg 2 was and some days with them off. I.must say thankful I’m not parent. I know my blogging hasn’t bn consistent in awhile. But more then ever I need be writing clear my head. I need get back in school and finish my degree. My plan for the summer if I live see it.i hope you all rights well and enjoyed the New Year. I read comments and even some post, but bare with me. GOD Bless