Good Morning and Welcome back to my world. Finally made it to my sickle cell doctor and must say glad be back on some of my meds. So far my sleep is blah. I done got out of bed, so many times. Either use restroom or something to drink. I done fold clothes up, played a few games on my phone. Why Am I Up? I need sleep, like right now. Guess I took my sleep meds late and body is like oh no we ain’t with that. Sighs. Tossing and turning and dealing with pain.
As some of yall may know if you been with me for a while. My dad has cancer. Well, he had to have surgery back in November because one wasn’t shrinking. It was getting bigger. The surgery went well. Thank God. He went for a scan last week to see how the others are doing since starting treatment again. They shrinking but two of them. The doctor wants to go in and remove them. My dad was like like let me think about it. In other words, pray about it and talk to the wife about it. You know God is good all the time. No matter what you going through. I can’t imagine not having my dad. When we find out a few years ago. It was shocking. We could have lost him. I thank God for that doctor appointment after Christmas. His counts were low. We knew something was wrong, but never in million years, we think it was cancer. We had to literally tell him to go to the hospital. He needed blood because he was losing it, and to see what was going on. His primary was like it maybe its cancer or an ulcer.
My nephew just celebrated his 9 birthday these past weekend. They grow up so fast. Where has the time gone? He celebrated his bday at the bowling alley. Second year in a row. No bowling, he chooses the arcade and lazor tag.
As I mention a few post back about meds they have me on and I would stop taking once again. Every since I stop taking, I done had less and fewer headaches. You would think they would have come out with meds just for us sickle cell patients instead of pushing the chemo meds unto us. I done tried these meds like three different times. I am damn if I stay taking it and not feeling my best. I have read the good and bad with the meds. But all I see is the bad, to be honest. This med can cover up the fact you be in crisis by making your levels look good when you not. It can make you lose your hair and also cause you to have cancer. And much more side effects. Oh yeah to top if off you not suppose to touch the meds without gloves, but they want us to take it? Ding Ding Ding, where the good at people? I don’t see it are either I just don’t care for the good. Some of the so call doctors only want to pump us with meds just to get us out of there faces. Last year I had some problems with E.R doctors. They didn’t want to do they damn job and could have cost me my life. I was seen in E.R over 10 times in one period of a month. My retic was high as I don’t know what came down to it when I was in full blown crisis, my counts were low as heck. I don’t know how I walk in that hospital but I knew for a fact I wasn’t walking out of it the same day. I was so thankful to have good E.R doctor that day. And I was on and off that meds at the time. How am I suppose focus if my head feels like it wants to explode into next week? How do you make time with your family count when all you feel is downright awful? So many questions and not enough answers. I have two doctors that’s, not in my area, but I hate to have travel long way when I’m hurting. Sitting too long in a car is so painful. You don’t have to have a sickle cell to understand where I’m coming from with that. I have been on Folic Acid since I was young and to be honest, I rarely take that med every day than to take chemo meds that give me more problems than it should. What do you do when you done gave it chance after chance, you throw in the towel with the meds and move on and live your life as best as you can. I’m either nausea all day are drained and just want to sleep. Why not correct a med just for us that may do more good than bad? It’s bad enough we having a fight with our body on the inside, but it would be nice to know someone was out there creating something to help us along this journey to live instead of giving up the fight as so many of us have. It is even nice if someone was creating a cure for it as well. Yes, I know only God can do that, just hurts to read so many losing the fight. Until next time God Bless 🙂
Poets Afterthought 