Has taking me places I never thought it would be going.
Only honesty can get me out of this right now
So to my kind followers
Lately I have been losing
courage to share my JOURNEY
with you all.
It seem like I’m ready to throw
in the towel and ready to give up
All I want to do is cry,scream,yell
and hide under the covers in
the dark!
This is My story
2/22/12
PoeticJourney
I was going to put it in a poem, but I decided to just make it in a post to put all my thoughts in it! I hope you all brought your cup o joe and something to snack on as I share a little or should I say a lot with you. As of lately I have been in pain every single day since las Thursday! I enjoyed the few days of no pain. Seems my blood count is looking good so they wont keep me. Sighs! I done read stories of other sickle-cell patients that in pain every day of they lives, but honestly that have never been me. My heart always went out to them, and broke. Yesterday I had one of my weak moments and just broke down and cried out and just wanted to be out of my misery. I know GOD got a purpose for me, I know he’ll take me out this WORLD when his ready! I’m just glad my blood count is looking good, but not happy about the pain I’m having and wish and praying that it will all go away. My doctor appointment didn’t go well if you all is wondering. His worry and I’m worry, his really want to get me into seen a sickle-cell doctor ASAP! So we can see what’s really going on with me. I feel like his giving up, and I know I wanted to give up. I just don’t want to since no one giving up on me or I get that vibe of them doing that. But I do understand if he can’t do anything for me I should see a doctor that can see whats really going on with me. I have good and bad moments. I have to tell you, I’m actually taking my time with this post. My classes have started again today, I thought I had another week but I do need something to take my mind off my pain. I even started playing Farmville on Facebook again, to pass time. I should read one of my novels I recently bought. I have done a lot of catching up on different blogs. Okay back to the point of my blog. I don’t want you all thinking I want pity, because that not what I’m about. I never imagine MY JOURNEY would be rollercoaster, but GOD knew, so I’m going along with it! Some days I might not have much to share and some days I might have a lot to share. I actually have a class I have to retake because of being so sick last semester. Sucks, but for some odd reason I rather take it over then just make up the stuff I haven’t done. After this semester I’ll be off to the FALL. Hopefully I have my illness in check and you all wont hear about me been in the hospital so much. I seem to be everywhere in this post once again. Lastnight I got so upset with the nurse, but she explain herself to me afterwards. I just want people to understand I HATE HOSPITAL/DOCTOR OFFICE/. I had a few good nurses last night, that took real good care of me. The nurse explain to me that I have so much going for me and she wants to know whats going on with me because she is use to take care of sickle-cell patients and she know I never use to come in as much as I have been coming in. I don’t blame her for thinking like that, but its a way to show someone you care so they can see where you coming from. I hope that made sense. Now I see what many sickle-cell patients go through when people think that addicted because they come to the hospital so often, hell if that was the case I would just go drop off all my prescription I have in my room and get them fill. I’m allerged to pretty much everything, so only can take one thing. Hmmm, and they keep giving me darn prescription for stuff I don’t like. Yes, I’m serious. Anyways away from that nonsense. I’m so thankful for the encouragement and prayers, truly mean so much to me. You all just don’t know how much it keeps me going at times. 🙂 I know I’m not alone on this JOURNEY! I will not give up the fight, I’m trying to be more of ADVOCATE, something I truly always wanted to be. I know I keep tell myself I’ll do post explain what my illness is, do bare with me. I haven’t forgotten.
I haven’t lost my FAITH, not letting the devil get the best of me either. I know we all go through different things in life. I see my illness has been one of them as of right now. No limits to what GOD can do for me and any of us! God Bless 🙂
Poets Afterthought 