Posted in 2020, Love Journey, love thought, My Love Journey, My Love Journey Thought, Relatonships

My Love Journey Thought

You know what I have learned so far on my journey to love. No matter how much a person wants to be loved. Till they learn to love themselves they will not be able to accept true love of any form. Its a slap in the face when you try to show love to someone who truly craves it, but when they stuck in there own ways. It’s pointless and heartbreaking.

~TO BE CONTINUED~

Posted in 2020, chronic illness, Health, life, My Journey, My Life, Sickle Cell Anemia

Day 3, Living With Sickle Cell

Hello and Welcome back to my world. I’m still here and hoping to go home tomorrow. Thankful my counts are coming up on its own. I said counts were 7.7, I meant it was 7.2 and now counts are at 7.7. I’m still having a good doctor on my team. My pain isn’t as bad as it was when I came in so I’m thankful for that. My legs hurting but they starting to ease some. I’m looking into new meds for my illness. Waiting hears back from them. My nurse practitioner told me about it a few weeks ago. It was either the pill one or the iv one once a month and had to drive so that was out the question. I have the doctors asking me about taking the cancer meds again. But I’m good. Some doctors dont know its more meds out there for my illness. Be doing another post about the. We meds. Waiting to see if my insurance approves it. Until next time. God Bless

Posted in 2020, knowledge, life advice, promise, Wisdom

Life Advice

Don’t give up now! It is in your persistence that you win. What you have asked for, sought for, knocked for is about to come to pass! Be shameless in your persistent pursuit of the promise.

Good Evening, God is truly good all the time. I pray the message speaks to someone’s soul/heart. God Bless

Posted in 2020, chronic illness, Health, life, My Life, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness

Day 2, Living With Sickle Cell

Hello and Welcome back to my journey. Another long day here. Last night was rough, i was hurting all night. Shortage on IV meds. IV meds are what needed to get the pain under control. I have a good team of doctors. Nurses can’t really say right now. My counts drop 7.7 overnight, so they have come and taken more blood for cross and type if i need blood. Let’s pray I don’t need. I have started reading again on my kindle to take my mind off my pain. Feels good getting back into reading and visiting blogs. I’m behind on my poetry for the month. I’m ready to go home, can you believe that. I’m not as bad as when i came in so that’s a good thing. But im, not 100% either. I’m starting to get tired of fighting. My body is in overload. I really don’t have much to say. Pray all is well with each and every one of you all. Blessings

Posted in 2020, chronic illness, Health, My Life, pain, Sickle Cell Anemia, Sickle Cell Awareness

Day 1, Living With Sickle Cell

Hey and Welcome to my world. It’s been a while since I did one of these posts and let me tell you. Yes, I have been in hospital. I had started working on the update just last night. I started hurting Friday afternoon but had stuff to do like washing and folding and grocery shopping. Your probably thinking health before all that. Maybe so, but I’m hard-headed and tired of going back to the ER every other week. Anywho I took a shower and meds and laid down for the night. Next day pain was still there but not as bad as the night before. It had moved to my back and leg but by night the pain had a return and was getting worse. So another shower and meds and laid it down for the night and watch some television to help relax and put me sleep. Throughout the night I notice I was getting pain around my ribs and would rub them and go back to sleep. Come morning I thought the pain was gone till I got up to go the restroom. It was more intense and rubbing wasn’t working. Another shower and meds with breakfast of course and a phone call to my mom to let her know. She was like maybe it’s gas since had lettuce in my taco last night. I tried drinking sprite and burp a few times. I gave it a few hours and pain was still there to the ER and I wasn’t happy about that. The set up is different since COVID 19. I take it they have different precautions in each of y’all areas. Two nurses in front of the entrance. I told them what was going on and she told me which window and where to go and wait till the name is called. Took almost an hour just get in the back to be in triage, but had to wait to get pull in back for a room. Had a nurse hadn’t had before and she didn’t want to really listen to me about my port. If it wasn’t for another nurse in the room. I don’t want to even think about it. My counts are good for now. My retic at 10.5, which isn’t good. It’s a sign letting me know I’m in crisis. I had a good nurse practitioner that I did have before. I’m thankful for her and how quickly she moves to get me comfortable and admitted. It’s going be a long night, they have me on meds by mouth. The IV dose was 1mg and that’s not what i take. Since the COVID crisis seems they have to be careful with IV meds on the floor but not ER. We shall see how this goes. Until tomorrow I pray all is well with each and every one of you all. Stay safe and inside. Blessings

Posted in 2020, Heart, Love, My Journey, My Love Journey, poem, Poetic, Poetry, Relatonships

When is you going wake up??

When are you going wake up
And see I dont want anything from you.
All I want is your time and heart.
Im not asking for your change.
You got a woman who cares for you
Spiritual, mental and emotionally
When you going wake up
To see Im not here for the fame
Im not here for your money
Im here cause I care.
I worry for you
Can you sense it?
I done fought for you so long
When are you going to wake up?
I dont fight
I just walk
But you made a mark in my life
Damn
Maybe I need a wake-up
And see you trying let old you come to play
Im stubborn and like learn on my own
Me waking up
It is like you taking heed to what im saying.
Can you feel what im saying?

4.4.20

~PJ~

A poem dedicated to poetry month and for yesterday and today. Welcome to my crazy love journey. Looks like I’m telling my story backward. Do enjoy and God Bless

Posted in 2020, Friday freedom, knowledge, Word Of Wisdom

Word of Wisdom

#Friday #Freedom

It takes a lot of both deliverance and discipline to not go back to what you like the most, even though it’s detrimental to you.

Good Evening, I pray all is well and message speaks to someone’s heart and soul. Not feeling my best at the moment. Going try have a poem posted for tonight but the way my pain set up. Have to do two posts tomorrow. God Bless

Posted in 2020, fight, Love, My Journey, My Life, My Love Journey, poem, Poetry, Relatonships

Never Knew

I never knew how deep my love.
Could be for another man
Its crazy cause after the last
I was done with fuckery and
Knew damn well my heart couldn’t
Be touch again after shutting down
After my last mistake
That really took me back to the old
Me.
Cold-hearted
But you..
What can I say..
Our first interaction was EPIC!!!
Till this day I can’t get it out my head.
Damn a TAURUS at that
That should have been a warning
But im stubborn and warnings is
Like a GO for me.
I can name other reasons
But what’s the point.
I love how you became a person
I could count on without me realizing it
I love how you sneak your way in
Without me knowing I cared for you
I love you for many reasons
For staying when you should have a walk
From get-go
For fighting for me as you say.
I plead 5 on that.
But I give it to you.
Never thought I’ll meet someone worth
Fighting for
Im selfish
I want you to myself
But I can’t have you to myself

3.24.20

~PJ~

Do enjoy and let me know what you think. Going to add it to My Love Journey. God Bless