With everything going on in my world…. I have thought about writing for the past few weeks but just didn’t have it in me. But I’m finally making myself, but pushing myself to do better. With today society, you need a place to escape to. My dad will start treatment in few weeks. I’m nervous and thankful.Deep down I know he going fight dis cancer. He got a port about week ago. Its weird having my dad ask about different things, about port. A few weeks ago we had a scare. He went to get registered for surgery day before. But EKG showed us his heart was off beating fast,so he had spent few days in prison. They got him on new meds for his heart. His truly a strong man. I been dealing with my illness best I can. I have no primary doc at the moment. Looking for a new one. Ionly had two er visit so far dis year. The hospital close to my parents I hate. They feel if your counts good they won’t do anything for you. I have lost faith in the medical field. You suppose help us and not judge us. Then when we die in your care are lack of. You don’t give a damn. I had got really sick back in October. I w as going back and forth to er. Retic was high, but counts OK. Oh you making new blood cells. Which was damn lie. Last time I had went, they did t recheck counts. Few days later. I w as in full blown crisis and couldnt walk, so thankful I had a good doc working and on my team. Now a days I try and tough it out, and yes I knoe that’s not good. Anyways away from that. A new year and January is almost out. Wow. I hope each and everyone of you is well.. I will have another update soon. So much say and do. I need get with it. I’m trying go back school and finish my last year. Anything that keep me thinking and not stress about what’s going on around me. When will stop habiting and judging and just love? So much hate going on around us. I believe I’ll end my post here. I pray everyone is well. God Bless.