Tag: prayers

Posted in Health, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia

Living With Sickle Cell Anemia

Posted on by poeticjourney

Before I begin, I hope I don’t be everywhere with this post! You have been warn 🙂 I’m so glad the month almost over, hopefully okay maybe I should be saying I’m praying I have a better month ahead of no pain, doctor visit, nasty uneducated doctors, and nurses with no freaking back bone.  I believe I put all that in a nice way to be honest! As of last night, my lovely blood count has drop! I’m so not happy, I take it the uneducated doctor is waiting for it to drop lower before I should be put in the hospital. I have to say I’m totally losing my cool for hospitals all together. I know all doctors,nurses or not that ignorant. Lets just say I didn’t have a good day yesterday! I did have someone take care of the situation that had happen before. So thankful on that! I have come to conclusion, if I say I’m FINE, everything might just be that eventually! People or asking me how I’m feeling and I’m saying okay or I’m fine, because honestly I really just want to feel fine! I believe today has been one of my worse days. I forgot to bring some meds with me so I had to be in pain for a while today. You know how some say the calm before the storm. I believe I said that right, my head isn’t all here right now. I believe sleep is finally calling me home. Yesterday I was worry I would’ve wait longer before I could see the sickle-cell doctor, because of another reason, but got call and hoping to see him soon. I refuse to make a trip to E.R where I’m at! Plenty of hospitals, but when you in pain I don’t see the point going out the way, might be something I have to rethink to be honest!  Something the nurse said to me who was discharging me, she just don’t know I had a lot of unkind words I would’ve said, but didn’t! I can’t lose my cool because there uneducated on my illness. Easy said then done, but something I truly need to work on. Honestly I’m starting to believe certain doctor love to see me in the E.R, but just not able to stick her head in the room when I’m there.  Hmm you know a lot of words come to mind. I must say I better not have to visit the evil place no time soon. Sighs! I believe this post is long enough and you all can sense how I’m feeling about it all! Sorry to surprise some of you, but hey we all have our weak moments when we just fed up! I must say I think I need to go back to when I was younger and had to drag me to the evil place! I don’t think that good ideal, because I had to literally fall out before I actually went! Me in the evil place have many stories we could share!

 

 

Thankful for all the prayers and encouraging words, truly means a lot to me! God Bless Each & Everyone of You 🙂

Posted in AWARENESS, Health, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia, Update

Quiet

Posted on by poeticjourney

Today hasn’t been good day! I’m avoiding going to E.R, because I’m tired of them thinking nothing wrong because my blood work looks good! Feels like a few years ago back in 06. I almost died because they wouldn’t keep me! So if I’m quiet and you don’t hear much from me that’s why! I do hope everyone is having a good weekend! It done got cold once again which I’m not happy about! Sighs! Thank you all for the prayers and kind words truly means a lot! I’m praying I start feeling better soon! God Bless & Good Night 🙂

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Posted in Faith, God, Health, My Journey, poem, Poetry, School, Sickle Cell Anemia, Update

My Story

Posted on by poeticjourney

Has taking me places I never thought it would be going.

Only honesty can get me out of this right now

So to my kind followers

Lately I have been losing

courage to share my JOURNEY

with you all.

It seem like I’m ready to throw

in the towel and ready to give up

All I want to do is cry,scream,yell

and hide under the covers in

the dark!

This is My story

2/22/12

PoeticJourney

I was going to put it in a poem, but I decided to just make it in a post to put all my thoughts in it! I hope you all brought your cup o joe and something to snack on as I share a little or should I say a lot with you. As of lately I have been in pain every single day since las Thursday! I enjoyed the few days of no pain.  Seems my blood count is looking good so they wont keep me. Sighs! I done read stories of other sickle-cell patients that in pain every day of they lives, but honestly that have never been me. My heart always went out to them, and broke. Yesterday I had one of my weak moments and just broke down and cried out and just wanted to be out of my misery. I know GOD got a purpose for me, I know he’ll take me out this WORLD when his ready! I’m just glad my blood count is looking good, but not happy about the pain I’m having and wish and praying that it will all go away. My doctor appointment didn’t go well if you all is wondering. His worry and I’m worry, his really want to get me into seen a sickle-cell doctor ASAP! So we can see what’s really going on with me. I feel like his giving up, and I know I wanted to give up. I just don’t want to since no one giving up on me or I get that vibe of them doing that. But I do understand if he can’t do anything for me I should see a doctor that can see whats really going on with me. I have good and bad moments. I have to tell you, I’m actually taking my time with this post. My classes have started again today, I thought I had another week but I do need something to take my mind off my pain. I even started playing Farmville on Facebook again, to pass time. I should read one of my novels I recently bought. I have done a lot of catching up on different blogs. Okay back to the point of my blog. I don’t want you all thinking I want pity, because that not what I’m about.  I never imagine MY JOURNEY would be rollercoaster, but GOD knew, so I’m going along with it! Some days I might not have much to share and some days I might have a lot to share. I actually have a class I have to retake because of being so sick last semester. Sucks, but for some odd reason I rather take it over then just make up the stuff I haven’t done.  After this semester I’ll be off to the FALL. Hopefully I have my illness in check and you all wont hear about me been in the hospital so much. I seem to be everywhere in this post once again. Lastnight I got so upset with the nurse, but she explain herself to me afterwards. I just want people to understand I HATE HOSPITAL/DOCTOR OFFICE/. I had a few good nurses last night, that took real good care of me. The nurse explain to me that I have so much going for me and she wants to know whats going on with me because she is use to take care of sickle-cell patients and she know I never use to come in as much as I have been coming in. I don’t blame her for thinking like that, but its a way to show someone you care so they can see where you coming from. I hope that made sense. Now I see what many sickle-cell patients go through when people think that addicted because they come to the hospital so often, hell if that was the case I would just go drop off all my prescription I have in my room and get them fill. I’m allerged to pretty much everything, so only can take one thing. Hmmm, and they keep giving me darn prescription for stuff I don’t like. Yes, I’m serious. Anyways away from that nonsense.  I’m so thankful for the encouragement and prayers, truly mean so much to me. You all just don’t know how much it keeps me going at times. 🙂 I know I’m not alone on this JOURNEY! I will not give up the fight, I’m trying to be more of ADVOCATE, something I truly always wanted to be. I know I keep tell myself I’ll do post explain what my illness is, do bare with me. I haven’t forgotten.

I haven’t lost my FAITH, not letting the devil get the best of me either. I know we all go through different things in life. I see my illness has been one of them as of right now. No limits to what GOD can do for me and any of us! God Bless 🙂

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Posted in AWARENESS, God, Health, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia, Update

Living With Sickle Cell Anemia

Posted on by poeticjourney

Hello and Welcome to my place, if you new to my JOURNEY, you may not know I just recently got out of the hospital for been in there for about a week! sighs! If you been on my JOURNEY, you all know the routine and thank you all for staying with me for the long ride. I never imagine it would be so bumpy. I have never seen the inside of hospital as much as I have this year. I suppose it’s the first time for everything. Well not just this year, since the year just came in. lol. I have never seen the inside of hospital every month. Usually just once or twice and sometimes none. I truly miss the times I didn’t see inside the hospital. I’m glad I finally got my port, on my last stay, so I don’t have to worry about  getting stuck so much when I do have to visit doctor office as well as the hospital. I’m hard person to stick. Every since I been out the hospital I haven’t been feeling my best. I have been in pain ever since. I find out yesterday I’m actually in the process of having a crisis, but were trying to do everything to prevent it before it get out of hand. I’m happy to let you all know, my blood count is looking good. YAY! I hope it still looks good,when it comes to check up or if I have to return to hospital because for some odd reason I can’t get my pain under control. I must admit did have nice looking doctor yesterday with the prettiest darkest blue eye’s. I’m a sucker for them. Okay you getting to know me a little bit more 🙂  On side note, my little lady has been sick as well with ear infection, she is starting to feel a little bit better. THANK GOD! If it was anything besides ear ache, I couldn’t be around her. She been saying, but I love you. 🙂 Okay back to the point of my post. I haven’t been feeling my best, right now I’m still not feeling the best that I should be feeling. I’m actually in the process of watching a movie with my little lady.  I just hope my blood count stay the same, since it was looking good, but long as I’m hurting that means it got plenty time to betray me. 😦 I’m praying it stay up and going strong. I’m so thankful for the one’s who or still praying for me and holding me in their thoughts. It means a lot to me! I must admit, the day I came home from hospital I did tell the doctor I wanted to come home even if I was in pain, but to be honest, I had started to feel better. The weather has been a little crazy here.

Posted in God, Health, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia, Update

:)

Posted on by poeticjourney

I know I mention I receive good news yesterday 🙂 The good news was I went home, so I spent the rest of the day with my family. I was so glad to see my little lady , her little face lit up. She was so upset about leaving school that she was crying, she stop when she saw me. It truly made my day coming home, I must admit. I told the doctor I was ready to go home either way if I was hurting or not. Let me tell I meant it. A week in the hospital was long enough for me. I must admit I did have cute doctor, the man I saw the first night I was put in. I was excited to hear my blood count went up a little bit more. Thank God. It didn’t get check the night before, and I was off the fluid the day before for four hours, so who knows it might have made a difference. I must admit I did have a good Valentine, going home and being with the one’s I love. Nothing is better than that. In my book that the perfect Valentine. 🙂 For the first time since I have been in hospital I haven’t really been in the mood to post or comment through my ordeal. I must admit it has been one of my not so good experience in a long time. That truly says a lot. I’m not going to bore you with long story, I know you all getting tired of reading about my experience in the hospital. SO I leave it as that. Thank you all for your encouraging words and prayers, truly meant/means a lot to me. Kept me going! God Bless 🙂

Posted in Health, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia

Day 7,Living With Sickle Cell Anemia

Posted on by poeticjourney

Another day in the hospital, I’m hoping to hear some good news tomorrow about going home. My blood count is still the same as yesterday. Hasn’t gone back up or down. I’m still a little concern that it drop so quickly. I still have some pain but not as bad as the pain I had when I came here. I’m hoping to receive some good news later tonight or early morning when they come do some lab work on me. I don’t really have much to post about. I have been in bed most of the bed. Little homesick, suppose you can say I miss the little one’s. I wasn’t there when my little lady went to daycare for the first time. I hope it went good for her, guess I find out tomorrow when I go home. I’m so thankful for all the prayers & encouraging words, truly means a lot to me. I see the shift is changing, with more new nurses tonight. I actually got to know the young lady last night, she is a few years younger than me who recently just move from here. I thought she didn’t talk.but she was just worry about bothering me and making sure I got plenty of rest.

Posted in Health, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia

Day 5,Living With Sickle Cell Anemia

Posted on by poeticjourney

Good Afternoon, Had rough night! I’m getting use to the port, actually started using it yesterday. So happy that I don’t have to get stuck anymore! YAY! Had accident with one of the nurses last night, I thought I had lost my pc. She knock my poor baby off the table and hit the hard floor. So happy she didn’t break because she not even two months ole yet. The nurse was like I’m not worry about buying you another one, I can do that. I just don’t want you losing your school work.  So I receive a unit of blood last night, because they were worry about it dropping some more. I don’t know when I’m going home just yet. I’m still having some pain, which isn’t a good thing. 🙂 I did receive good news my count went up with the one unit. I was worry that it wouldn’t go up much since last time it didn’t move much. Sad to say little lady still not taking my calls. I don’t know how I feel about that. I don’t know if she think I turn my back on her and not coming back or she just holding a grudge on me. I can’t wait to get home so I can have a serious talking with her. I enjoyed hearing my little man try to talk while on the phone. More like whine because his uncle took his fork from him. I can’t believe I’m missing them this much. 😦  I know I say I’m thankful all the time for all the encouraging words and prayers from you all. It truly does mean a lot to me. I shall keep you all updated on when I go home and whatnot. I know I’m off to the end of the month with school.  I must admit I’m excited about that. God Bless 🙂

Posted in Health, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia

Day 2,Living With Sickle Cell Anemia

Posted on by poeticjourney

Good Morning, I had rough night last night dealing with my I.V, had to get a new one. I would get a rude nurse this morning to put it in. I told her to take it out and she ask a stupid question WHY? or you freaking kidding me. Obviously it hurt. I had to but my tongue and let me tell you I had some words to say to be honest. Today I have a lovely nurse I done had before. She is so nice. She heard about the rude nurse, and I don’t know how she heard about her because I didn’t say nothing to anyone. I was in too much pain, to let the nurse I had known last night. I didn’t get the nurse name who came and put my I.V in, my nurse says she don’t play that. See what I mean a good nurse I have. Okay to the bad news, my count drop to 7.3, so you all know what that mean right? I need transfusion. sighs. I know another one. I’m still hurting today, not feeling my best, but wanted to share some of my good and bad news with you today, since last night was sort of short because of the pain. I’m so thankful for all your prayers and encouraging words. Truly touch my heart and head me all teary eyes. I shall keep you all posted, so until next time. You all have a Bless & Glorious Day!

 

p.s Almost forgot about the doctor, I do have a nice one this time around as well. Someone I never had before! Actually saw him when I got on the floor lastnight and that was around 11 soemthing. I told him I’m use to seen the doctor in the morning, he said he had nothing better to do. I had to laugh at them, sounds like a man thats about his business! We shall see how it goes throughout my stay here.

Posted in Sickle Cell Anemia

Day 1, Living With Sickle Cell Anemia

Posted on by poeticjourney

Hello and welcome to another day with me as I lay in bed in this evil place 🙂 I have been in pain all day, so as I posted last night I would be going to hospital. I’m not even going to tell you how long I been here and I just recently got admitted about hour ago. Yes, they are slow and so they say have been hella hectic. I know I’ll  fill you in some more in the morning. I just wanted to let you all know whats going on with me since I haven’t posted or commenting anytime today. I’m not ignoring you, just pretty much been hurting and being here pretty much today. I do hope each and everyone of you or Bless Night.

 

 

p.s Thabk for all the kind comments, prayers truly touch my headt.

Posted in AWARENESS, My Journey, Sickle Cell Anemia

Living With Sickle Cell Anemia

Posted on by poeticjourney

Where should I begin, I haven’t been feeling good ever since last week. I had a little trip to E.R they didn’t keep me because well my count wasn’t low enough! Go figure right? Shrugs!  I started feeling better, but you know the saying calm before the storm right? Early Sunday Morning, it hit me hard and like a ton of bricks. I felt it in my legs,arms,back,etc. I smile when I wanted to cry, took plenty hot showers and bath just to feel a little relief. I had forgotten about bengay, it came to me in dream last night. I’m trying to hold out going back to hospital because of school, semester ends tomorrow. I have to be honest, I haven’t done any homework, every time I tried the pain go bad, sounds bad or like I have excuse not to finish my homework. I’m so ashamed, but if you ever felt bad you know exactly what I’m talking about. I’m so thankful for all the prayers and encouraging words, truly have touch me. I have one of the worse headaches, i don’t know how long I done had it. I’m just glad my back isn’t hurting, because it was painful to move or get up once I did sit down. I could go on and on with this post, but I do have to tempt to get some more homework done, but I do know for a fact if I’m not feeling better in the morning, I’ll be at the hospital dreading it all!  I must admit this is the worst I have felt since going into crisis and sharing with you all lovely people. I believe when I got introduce to the ideal of blogging about my illness,I was just starting out really to blogging here. It was bad then, and it’s not pretty now. So on that note, I hope everyone is having a lovely and bless night! God Bless 🙂