Posted in 2022, AWARENESS, chronic illness, Death, Health, life, My Journey, My Life, Sickle Cell Anemia, sickle cell disease, Update

Update

Good Moning, It’s been a while since I posted. I do pray all is well with every one of you and thanks for joining me and sticking with me thru my silence. I have been struggling since losing my ole man (dad) and my illness hasn’t been the best. I have been out and in about every month and sometimes twice in some months. I must admit surprised I haven’t given up yet. I have been writing a little here and there. I have been thinking about coming back and every time I do I never know how to start my post. seems every time I say I’m coming back it’s an update and then something happens. Life is funny like that, to be honest. The last hospital visit was a week and two days. it’s funny because I was doing good without going to the hospital or been putting in. My third month showed me doesn’t matter how you take care of yourself. Sickle Cell wins. I can take meds and do stuff like I’m supposed and still it wrecks my life without remorse. I haven’t had the chance to take my trip since June which was for my bday month before. I suppose life is funny that way. Covid doesn’t help much either. I must say I’m glad I haven’t and pray I never get it. My thoughts or everywhere. I do pray all is well with every one of you. As of right now the doctors and I or working on a way that I can stay put in the hospital. I have a home nurse that will come out to see me if I need her. It’s crazy how life slows you down when all you want to do is run away and don’t look back. It’s a holiday and my ole man’s birthday is this month. Lord, I miss him so damn much. It still feels fresh and it’ll be three years on the worse month possible. A hint: I hate Father’s Day, hell the whole damn month. Grief is a hella pain. The memories aren’t the same. I can’t hug a memory. I can’t pick up the phone and call just to hear their voice one more time. At this moment, not feeling my best. the weather is getting cold so that could be the reason. I and my body have a love and hate for it.

Questions for ya’ll. How do ya’ll handle grief? I havent fully grieve because of making myself sick. I grieve a little each time im in my hospital. Might as well since Im already sick. I honestly dont want to hear its going to get better. I dont beliee that. I have some people who lost there father longer then I have and they still grieving. Do let me know what ya’ll have done to make it little easier. Many Blessings till next time. I pray its not months later.

Posted in 2022, God, Listen, My Journey, My Life, Update

New Year

New Year (2022)

It’s been a while since I blog and shared much. I pray everyone made it in 2022 safely. 2021 was a rough year, still struggling with losing my dad. I haven’t been the same since he left last month was rough because of the holidays and his birthday. I must say if you still have your father in your life, do cherish them. I know we have to leave this world one day, but it’s a different hurt when there’s your rock. I had a few hospital visits due to my illness. The majority was good to visit and one wasn’t. I always think it’s funny when they try to tell me about my illness when I leave it for over thirty years. I’m going to try this blogging thing again and try to be consistent. I have been writing a lot lately just getting stuff off my mind/heart. Until next time I pray all is well and God Bless