Poets Afterthought

I don’t know where or how to start this entry. Been a good friend, can get you in predicaments that have you wondering how did I get here.

A & B

Mr. A. has become a father a few months ago. I met him years ago when he was dating my younger cousin, who was underage at the time. So the only time to see him, I would have to say we going to spend some girl time together so she could see Mr. A. Me and him have been friends for years, even though they not together anymore. He recently came back into my life almost a year ago in February anyways back to the point of the post. Mr. A has feelings for me, yea shocking I know. I DON’T DATE ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN IN RELATIONSHIP WITH FAMILY MEMBERS OR EITHER FRIENDS. I done told him this so many times, but he not hearing or he don’t believe. we had a conversation last night and he was like i know you thought about it at one time or another. I was like honestly I havent, and truth be told it was the truth. ITS ALL ABOUT RESPECT WHEN IT COMES TO ME. Mr. A has been there for me when I got sick a few years ago. He was at the hospital everyday with me, and when the nurses took to long to come he would go get them. he the only guy every see me cry besides my father and brothers. When I got drunk the first and only time when I was at my rebellish age he took care of me. Watch over me the whole time without trying anything. And let me tell you it wasnt easy job to do. lol I done tried to hook him up with a few other people’s since we known each other. He fell in love with my best friend but was too scared to let her know how he felt, and lost her to his cousin and then finally lost her to someone she shouldn’t have every marry. How do we know if we have a chance with someone if we don’t open our mouth and let it be known how we feel about them.  This guy done got ticket for me in the past, when I use to stay in Florida he was coming to see me because we hadn’t seen each other in a long time. Thats how close we was and still is that close to today. I’m slow when it comes to picking up on the feelings. If I’m not into you, I wont notice that you into me.  I even dated his cousin who I was digging along time, we had talk before we actually met and seem to have kick it off. Doesn’t matter that we don’t talk nomore, or if the relationship went sour. I choose to stay true myself and true to any friendship/relationship I make on my JOURNEY.

Mr. B has been in my life for a long time as well. His marry and well they going through somethings. Before I get into anymore details. We were together when we was younger, but things didn’t work out, so we both move one. He got marry and I got engage to someone and cut it off for my reasons of course. Anyways he discover me on Facebook.  I must say I don’t use my real name on Facebook so how did he find me you ask? We have the mutual friend in common and he had been asking about me. Why would a marry man ask about another woman, was the question I ask myself and my best friend. Anyways I debated on adding him on Facebook, so I went for it because well my feelings for him had been dead a long time ago. We stayed in touch through messages on Facebook then move from that to texting and then talking on the phone. Hold on now, we never talk on the phone while his marriage was going good, well I thought it was good. I decided to check my Facebook status of all my friends and his caught my attention. I was like whats going and it wasnt showing that he was marry anymore. So I tried to help him out by been  a good friend and telling him to make it work out. I didn’t know the whole story what was going on, meaning he didn’t tell me everything when I was in the hospital back in September. I find out more once I got out the hospital and I was like I’m sorry to hear and whatnot.  He haves a little girl int he mix of all this drama that’s going on. So right now he done with trying to make it work, for whatever reason. Don’t want to go all in detail with his business. I recently told him I would be here for him, because hey I’m a good friend and I know what it mean to have someone you can count on. He done caught feelings and I can honestly say I care for him like a friend.  Seems I get myself caught up in all this mess when I try to be nice or help a friend who needs someone.

The point of the post is I need advice or  in put or should I call it feedback. Whatever sit right with you. I can give advice to someone all day but it seem like I can’t give myself advice when I need it. I honesly don’t see how I got myself stuck in this situation. IF you wondering have I tried been mean to them, let me tell you! Yes, I have and it doesn’t get me nowhere. Iff you wondering if I know how to be mean, trust and believe I do. Maybe I should’ve made this into a poem instead!  Probably would’ve been everywhere in that as well.  Oh yea please do look over my typo’s. I would love to hear what the guys have to say if they get inspire to tackle this post.