Posted in My Journey, poem, Poetry

Dose of Reality

It dawn on me

No matter, how many times

I tell myself I don’t need this,

My body tells my other words.

Dose of Reality

2 Dose in morning

Sometimes 3 or 4

Depends on pain

Another Dose 2 hour later

Dose of Reality

Is starting to settle in

3 Doses before I call it a night

Sometimes 2 or 4

Dose of Reality

Isn’t looking good to me

11/16/11

PoeticJourney

I was starting to get use to the face I was only taking one medication a day. Matter of fact I was loving it. A few months ago crush my little world of happiness. 😦 Oh yea do not think by any mean thats all I take, that the nice side of it all.

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Posted in God, My Journey, Wisdom

Word to the Wise(Spiritual Word Of The Day)

God did not promise sun without rain, light without darkness or joy without pain- God only promised us strength for the day when darkness comes our way…

 

 

Hope Everyone Is Having A Bless Day/Night!  God Bless Eacn And Everyone Of You On My Journey As I Grow Closer 2 God! God Bless 🙂

Posted in poem, Poetry

Not Promise

I’m laying in bed

Catching up on facebook status

So many losing someone they love

Time is not promise to no one

I think of the song by

MJ: Gone to SOON

We ask ourselves

Why they leave us

I didn’t tell them I love them

One more time

If only I could just touch them

See they smiling faces

I know life isn’t promises to anyone

It breaks my heart to read about

How someone choose to

End another person life

One person waiting on

Confirmation on a

Love one

They know they not going to make it

All they have is memories, pictures

Death Is All Around Us

Make me think back

When I was in the hospital

The nurse told me she lost a patient

It hurts to lose someone

Another young lady just lost her

Grandfather, just told my friend

Sorry for her lost and she in my prayers

And that we love her

Death Is around Us

11/13/11

PoeticJourney

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Posted in God, Inspiration, My Journey, poem, song, Thankful

Do YOU

DO YOU..
DO YOU..
DO YOU..
SENSE ME..

DO YOU..
FEEL ME..

AS I FLOAT THRU
UR VEINS?

DO YOU..
DO YOU..
DO YOU..
TAKE ME HIGHER?

IM GOING THRU YOU

I KNOW YOU FEEL ME..

SO..

REACH OUT AND GRAB
HOLD AND NEVER LET GO..

DO YOU..
DO YOU..
DO YOU..

FEAR MY MASTER

DOWN ON MY KNESS..
PRAYN..

MY HEART..
BEATN..

DO YOU..
FEEL IT..

DO YOU..
DO YOU..
DO YOU..

DO YOU…

NEED ME LIKE I NEED YOU

I NEED YOU LIKE ITS MY LAST
DAY ON EARTH..

SO..

DO YOU..
DO YOU..
DO YOU..
SEE WAT IM GOING THRU..

MY BATTLES ARE ALMOST DONE..

MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE..

MY SOUL..
ON FIRE..
MY MIND..
IS GONE..

DO YOU..

FEEL MY PAIN…
DONT TORTUE ME..
ANYMORE..

YOU HAVE WON..
SO TAKE IT AND
WALK AWAY..

WHISPERS..

DO YOU..
DO YOU..
DO YOU..

GIVE A CARE THAT..
IM DYIN..

TAKE MY HAND
HEART..
AND LEAD THE WAY..
AND LET ME GO..
YOU CAN’T LIVE..

TAKE MY EYES AND SEE…

TAKE MY JOURNY

DO YOU..
DO YOU..
DO YOU..

UNDERSTAND?

Before you continue: let me apologize, it’s long, I got carry away sorry 🙂

At first it was a poem, but I decided to make it song. I have or had two guys making me beats for it. Let me first say how Thankful I am for Everyone that go out and donate blood. I’m so Thankful for Everyone that have it on their license to be donor. Ya’ll or a Blessing for so many people’s. I recently had a tranfusion and only could get one unit. I can’t even tell you the last time I really got one of them. Okay maybe I can it was a few months ago before I got into blogging. My hemoglobin wanted to be on the safe side, I guess he saw something that I was feeling but wasn’t feeling it was that necessary. Anyways its getting real hard for them to find my blood type. I have never being worry about going to the hospital and not coming back home. In my about me im working on getting a closer relationship with GOD, I’m not perfect, I’m not giving up either. One day I may go in and they may not find my blood, it going to take GOD his self to heal me. It actually happy back in May. I’m a GEMINI baby and little lady if you havent read ADDICTION Or MY EYE”S OPEN is TAURUS. Our birthday is a week a part. I was sick and when I say sick I mean sick. I made appointment to my doctor. My hemoglobin doctor. I have to say his the best. I love a man that loves GOD. don’t get me wrong, you don’t hear to many doctors talking about GOD. I went in because I had a fever, if you touch me I wasn’t normal, then what’s normal about GEMINI right? 🙂 but serious. I was burning up. I was hot and everything. So the doctor did what I hate, get his nurses to take my blood.. 😦 I’m a hard person to stick . So i left the doctor and went to meet my little lady great grandmother I was hosting her birthday party that was in a few days. We was doing last minute birthday shopping.  Thats when my mom get the call on her cell that I need to rush to hospital 😦 Umm if you wondering do I have one of them lovely talky things. Yep! I just write small and they couldnt read my handwritting, thats why I ask people’s can you read that so if they can’t and I’m not hurting to bad enough I will repeat it to them. Anyways  she hands me the phone and I listen to what the nurse tells me. Let me tellyou I wasn;’t happy and I wasn’t going to the hospital. Yes I’m Very Stubborn Person. I had plans for my little lady and I wasn’t going let nothing get in the way. So I walk into WALMART with my mother and I was telling her I can’t get sick, I got to do this for little lady and she was like if I hace to stand in to host I will. Yea she wasn’t helping the matter at hand to be honest. Later that evening I had to go to E.R.  My tempterature was 103.something and it wouldnt go down for a hour. I got there lucky me it still wasnt going down and it was 103. something. They ran test and let me tell you. I’m so getting tired of typing. lol.. The doctor on call came in and was like Ms. P everything looks okay your blood count looks fine. I was so happy. THE BEST NEWS EVER! GOD KNOW HOW TO MAKE A WAY FOR HIS PEOPLE’S!:) I got carry away once again, I’m really trying to work on that, but the point I’m truly making. Oh yea I almost forgot, I never thought about the fact I may never come back home leaving the hospital. I always went in believing in GOD will bring me out. Don’t get me wrong I know we all have to leave the EARTH one day, but we just don’t know when exactly. So lying in hospital bed I was thinking, and then look back over the poem/song I was ready to share with word press.  I have actually read/sing it to a few people and let’s just say it broke they heart because well no one wants to talk about living the world. My goal is to touch someone life while I’m alive and when I’m not here anymore to do the same.  The poem/song is not just from my perspective it’s from anyone perspective that go through the ordeal I go through or anyone else. It’s for the coma patients that can’t talk to us, but want to talk, scream, and yell. It’s for the little ones that don’t know what’s going on because they too young to tell us. It’s for someone that’s leaving us and wishes they had the chance to say it. Okay away from that.  I do have another post after this one.

P.S I’m thankful for anyone who go out donate blood for me and anyone else in my shoe. I told Wandering Mind he was Blessing when I came across a post he did about donating blood or Blood Drive. I have a friend who daughter needed some blood a month ago, so I know she is thankful and they still trying to figure out what’s wrong with her.

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Posted in poem, Quotes

I’m Praying

ALL I DO IS THINK OF YOU

I COULDA SWORN, I THOUGHT U WAS DOING BETTER

NOW THAT YOU GONE

YOU STAY ON MY MIND

I PRAY YOU MAKE IT BACK

I HOPE 1 DAY & HR, 1 MIN & SEC

YOU’LL COME BACK

RIGHT NOW IM THINKING BOUT

THE CRAZY THINGS YOU SAID THA tMADE ME HAPPY/MAD

I GUESS ITS TRU

YOU DONT KNOW

HOW MUCH YOU CARE FOR A PERSON

TO ITS TO LATE

SO IMA PRAYING, WHILE U AWAY

YOU’LL MAKE IT BACK

PoeticJourney

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Posted in School, Update

Update

I’m home, and doing much better than I was. I have little pain every now and then not as bad as it was before I went into the hospital. I’m so glad to be home.   Since I’m home as you can see I want mention days etc as if I was still in the hospital. I don’t want ya’ll thinking I want pity or whatnot. I suppose to be enjoying my weeks off from school, but I have two tests to make up and my final of my Research Paper Due. I do not like the D’s in my English and Psychology class. That’s what zeros’ get you.  So I have to make a doctor appointment with my hemoglobin doctor, I will be making a post about that very shortly so I want go into much detail about it right now. But back in September after I got out the hospital and went to see him I was happy to get good news about not having to see him to the New Year. As we  all know the New Year isn’t here quite yet, so little o’ me have to see him. I see him Friday, so I will have post letting you all know how it go. I hope it goes well, I’m praying it does. I’m asking for prayers, if ya’ll don’t mind praying for me some more. If not I do understand. Oh yea if ya’ll haven’t figure out from my post I hate doctors and hospitals as well as needles and anything to do with it. I only go see my doctor or even the hospital meaning E.R if I’m feeling bad. Yea I know that’s not good in my case. Let me tell ya’ll a secret I don’t like getting stuck, I hate needles. I hate when people don’t know what they doing. I have memories of turning blue, black because they hurt me so bad because they were so careless. I remember crying so bad because I was in so much pain I had young guy come in the room who was also in the hospital and try to calm me down, Let me tell you something it didn’t work. I don’t trust peoples who have needles in their hands. I ask tons of questions. I have only a few nurses I will let touch me and not mess my face up. I’m supposed to be updating ya’ll on how I’m doing and I’m telling ya’ll my experience I see what my adopted daughter means I need to learn to stay on subject. Loll! Well I felt like it was the only chance I would want to tell the story so I had to share it with ya’ll. As I was saying at the beginning of my post doing much better just have the headaches which could be the death of me no joke. They or in painful and the medication they have me on doesn’t do anything for me.  I enjoy the good days or hours while I can

Posted in My Journey, poem, Poetry

Headaches

You come and go

so intense

that you make me run and hide

into the dark

Some call them migraines

and some sinus headaches

I call them pain in my butt

As I lay  in the dark

The throbbing intensifies

bring tears to my eyes

headaches

pain

eruption

bomb

lava

explodes

The way you make me feel

11/12/11

PoeticJourney

In case you wondering with the extra words at the end, umm thats how I feel when I have my headaches. I feel like my head is about to explode. NO JOKE!!!

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