My body is Weary
But I’m still holding on
To his hand (GOD)
I know I’m not alone
Even when my body is
Battling itself
How can we be at
Ends with each other
When all I want is
To be free of pain
Though my body is
Weary
I’m praying for
Better days.
11/1/11
PoeticJourney
All I had time to do, more to come. Its working process…..
Today isn’t good day. I have pretty much being in bed all day. The weather has finally got to me and I’m battling with myself. I’m praying it shall pass because I’m already stressing with school and it’s over week after next. Telling myself I can’t get sick, just to keep myself going. Right now I’m love my bed but hating at the same time since I have so much to do and going on right now in my life. I have to tell myself I can’t get sick or just wait to I’m done with my classes. I wish it work that way. I had good weekend we took the little ones to the park, probably shouldn’t stayed out in the windy weather. It was so beautiful Saturday and to see my love’s enjoying they self. I shall post pictures up later or once I’m feeling better. I must say they wanted to play instead of taking pictures for auntie. I just spoil them about hour ago with some candy since we don’t really celebrate Halloween. Just to see they little face lights up makes me feel good. I can honestly say I missing the days with no pain right now. I stay in bed longer then usually. I have to give myself pep talk before I can start my day. I actually wrote a poem and once I’m feeling well. I shall post it. Believe I’m going to call it a night or either lay down since I finally took something to ease my pain. I hope everyone is having a Bless Night! God Bless
p.s Thank You Nightshade130 for your encouragment, you truly A Blessing. More to come. God Bless You
Am I wrong for wanting more Awareness for Sickle Cell Disease? I was recently talking to someone about my illness and she was like I didn’t know you had it and that she didn’t know much about it but wanted to know more about it. How can I spread the word about it and not get to emotional about not having much Awareness for my disease? I want to be Advocate, to be one that mean I would have to open up more about who I Am, and How I am living and dealing with it for over 20years? I didn’t know about we had a month of Awareness, to have a month but not really hear much about it bothers me. But someone had told me they heard about it and saw a few things as well.
To live everyday and to be in pain a majority of your life sometimes getting to the point and just being unbearable. I smile on days I wanted to cry and just wish I wasn’t here anymore, but I knew it wasn’t my time to go yet. I know I haven’t blog much about my illness. I have been doing research on it for my English paper, so I have been learning new stuff each and every day. When I decide to spread more word on the issue I don’t want people thinking I don’t know what I’m talking about. I know I haven’t made it back to explaining what it is yet.
You’ll see more on these topic of Awareness, it’s time for a change and I’m on my way of making it happen in due time. Right now days have been hard due to my headaches getting the best of me at times.
GOD BLESS,
POETIC
My JOURNEY tells a story so does my name. I’m a POET at heart. Fell in love with it when I almost died when I was in 6th grade. I knew I had a place to run to. On these JOURNEY I have learn a lot, I plan on bringing my poetry here that I have never shared with anyone. You will see where I come from and where I end. I may lose some on this JOURNEY, but as of right now. I don’t care. If you haven’t had the chance to read my ABOUT MEI do have SICKLE CELL ANEMIA, and these is my get away to express myself. I started my JOURNEY on love but it turns out to be more about ME! You will experience when I felt like I had to give up on love. How I came close to not believing in it anymore. Where would I be if GOD didn’t love me? HE died for us, so what if I ran into men that didn’t know what love was all about. I will share poems and question and stories through different times of my life. I can’t go a day without THANKING GOD, or writing about him. My friend told me the other day my blog looking more like Christian Blog. I’m not really worry about that. I’m happy even if I can touch just one person with my story. It’s a story of my life how I have overcome to many obstacles. How I lost my brother at young age, it takes a toll over you when you day and year apart. To the different time’s I almost died. God allowed me to love, he truly have a plan for me. I hope to fulfill it.
Today isnt a good day. Finally cold weather is setting in, and
feeling it in my body! I havent spoke much on my illness because I have being doing some serious research for my paper and learning more about it myself! A few more weeks of school and a little break. Headaches getting worse, so havent being able to focus on my assingment like I want. I know I still have the entry to explain it, sad say I lose a lot of my work on my pc. I want to be ADVOCATE for SCD. So much to do in so little time. Im battling with myself right now, because I want to do so much or should I say Im doing to much! God give me strength!
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Like to take the time and say Thank You for 2010.
Without you I wouldn’t be here..
It’s time for me to get Closer to you..
It’s been time..
I just wanted to do my own things..
and not live by your words..
But today is a new day..
And I’m ready ..
To Be One Of Your Chosen One..
God I Love You..
each and everyday..
God you is truely good to me..
You heal me when I was on my death bed..
You heal me when I was praying to take me out these
World..
Cause the pain was to much for me..
I’m ready to go into 2011..
mind set on you..
praising you..
I know its not going to be easy..
I know Ima get tempted..
But I also know..
It’s time to find my way to you..
I’m tired of the same o same o..
I take it I was looking for love
in the wrong places..
When All I Needed Was You..
God Thank You..
You bn watching over me..
since the day I was born..
Thank You..
for taking care of my family…
I know I don’t say..
Thank You..
Enough..
Lord I Love You..
I need you..
I want you..
Thank You,
PoeticJourney
If you wondering why poem is here when 2011 is almost over, since I’m still quite new here and working on moving my old blogs here. It’s part of my journey
Hey world,
Seem like everything looking good. Shoo it better be since I just got out yesterday right? Loll. I’m glad to be home. I was worry at first because I thought maybe I wasn’t ready since I was still having a little pain, but other than that I’m good. God Is Good all The Time. I had to wait awhile, to see the doctor because I went in earlier. I haven’t got my appetite back yet. I can say that’s a good thing. Means it’s time to get to work on my school work so I won’t be behind and struggling. Sounds like fun, but it’s not. I don’t have to see him to the New Year so I’m happy about that, but not too happy. It all depends how my illness does. Praying it does well and I have no problems.
I know yesterday I posted that I may post more on it on some days and some days I wouldn’t. It is like once a week post about it to inform the world or whoever wants to learn more on it for love one or just for them. Just never give up on yourself of that love one. I use to be in a group where a couple was pregnant and was thinking about abortion because they were worry about the baby having the disease. But you knew the cause before you decided to do what you did. But hey that’s just my opinion. I know everyone doesn’t think like I do.
Today I got the news I get to go home. I receive my last unit of blood early this morning. Can you say I’m happy about being ready to get out this place and to be home in my own bed and to be able to eat real food? I have being starving myself because I haven’t being hungry or just because hey the food is nasty. I still have my headaches, but I believe I can deal with them. The doctor got me on some new medicine that supposes to help with the headaches, so I can’t wait to see how well they help. The headaches have being no picnic for me. Right now I’m writing from home, which I’m happy about so I can be able to do some serious spell check. I’m not feeling 100 percent better. But hey I’m home. I got work to work on but I believe I start all that tomorrow. I got to Friday to get it in, I hate to get to far behind on my school work. My goal is to stay on top of everything this semester. I have doctor appointment tomorrow. I’m praying for some good news. My blood count is 8.7. Some may be wondering wow that kind of low, but in my case its better then 6.4. I’ll never have 11 or 13 like a person that don’t have my illness. Felt good to see my niece and nephew today. I didn’t think I miss them as much as I thought, but they were so glad to see me. I got me some hugs and kisses. Just to feel them in my arms and to know they love me was enough to let me know I’m glad to be home.
I may be home from hospital so my post will not be days anymore since I’m not in hospital, but will post about sickle cell once a week. I hope to touch many lives and more ways than one. Any question doesn’t be afraid to ask me. I’m here to ask. My journey is here for everyone that’s willing to join it with me to learn more.
My Blessing 2 Each and Every One Of you. God Bless
Still in hospital, laying in bed hooked up to iv getting blood. Finally receiving my blood, its a shame because I being waiting since Saturday. If you wondering if my blood count been the same or have it drop from them bn slow. Yes yes yes it drop. Im starting to feel a little bit better. Hoping to go home tonight if that possible. Believe a nap will do me justices while receiving my tranfusion. This disease isnt a picnic. Its a fight every day of your life to not give up and to keep going. I hope yall learn as much from my journey as Im willing to share. Have another unit of blood to receive. God be with me and whoever going through the same ordeal Im going through and anyone else.
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Still in hospital and waiting to get my blood tranfusion. Blood count seem to be low because of my crisis. Finally got my headaches under control, so Im happy about that and would even be more happy if I was home in my own bed. Now I have to wait to tomorrow morning for my tranfusion. Seem my blood pressure done drop a little. My mom and Auntie just left, I enjoyed they company. Little restless so finna lay it down to get some rest. Hope Everyone Having Bless Sunday! God Bless
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Poets Afterthought 